


The Princess and the Pirate: I love the way you lie

by lenfaz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, alternative universe, enchanted forest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2739176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenfaz/pseuds/lenfaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU set after 3x11 -<br/>Hook finds an unexpected surprise after he leaves the Charmings in the Enchanted Forest.<br/>Please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes, as English is not my native language :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Illusions

“I tried the hero thing, it didn't take” he said as he was ready to leave them, because there was nothing in the Enchanted Forest for him. Not without her.

“So that’s it? Emma’s gone and you’ll go back to being a pirate?” Snow asked him

“Back, Milady? I’ve always been a pirate” he retorted before leaving because it was the one thing he knew how to do after losing Liam, after losing Milah. Leave. Turn around and be alone, look out for yourself and never get hurt again.

And it always worked, until he met her, until she got so far under his skin that he was ready to leave it all for her.

And now she was gone again.

He was not going to stay in the Enchanted Forest, playing the good boy part with her family. He couldn’t harbor those thoughts. He needed to put enough distance between him and the memories of Emma before it was too late, before he was completely hooked and bewitched with her that he could not move forward.

As he rode that horse into the open roads and the unknown, he knew it was too late. He knew that he would give anything to find passage into the worlds and find her.  

He lost track of the hours eventually, it was dull and pointless as he rode into the open, dangerous road in search for his ship, for the last piece he had to hold on to his previous life. To go back to pillage and plunder, to take what he wanted whenever he wanted it. To drink himself into oblivion, to fuck as many bar wenches as he could so he would forget all about her. Forget the way her kiss was etched forever in his lips, in his mind, in his soul. He closed his eyes for a second, reliving that brief moment, his thoughts lingering on her one more time, one last time.

He opened his eyes and thought he had gone mad with ache because he could see a blonde figure far ahead on the road, looking exactly like her.

“Bloody hell” he cursed loudly at his failed attempts to forget her and shook his head to erase the illusion of his mind. But the figure remained as he approached her on the road, coming to life as a real person and not a product of his imagination.

He knew the Enchanted Forest, he knew of the many magical dangers that could come his way and he was ready to fight this trickery out of his way and resume his journey.

He dismounted his horse and drew his sword quickly, not giving the figure time to turn around.

“Stop your bloody sorcery… you will not get the best of me without a fight” he said

The figure turned around, and it was the exact image of Emma. For a moment the lost track of his thoughts, but he could not risk letting his guard down against any type of witches. He directed the point of his sword towards the illusion.

“Release that form you took, you bloody witch!” he yelled at the figure, who looked startled and dazed at him…

“Hook!” she said and it was her voice coming to him like a dream, like a gift, enwrapping him in all the beautiful memories of her.

“You will not bewitch me, I know you are playing tricks with my mind, I will cut you” he spat at her, ready to attack.

“Hook, please, it’s me” she said, her eyes filled with worry and fear. “I swear it’s me…”

There was something in her voice that seemed so real, he wanted to believe it was….

“This is the Enchanted Forest, lass. It will take more than an oath to convince me…” he replied “Tell me something only you and I know…”

She smiled at him, looking straight in his eyes “I kissed you in Neverland… and you bowed to win my heart, without trickery”

His mouth fall opened, his sword hit the dirty road and he ran to her, pulling her into his arms.

“Swan…” he whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The curse brings back Emma and Henry to the Enchanted Forest. Emma now finds herself in a world she does not know or understand and Hook finds himself torn between going back to his old life or trying to conquer the now heiress to the throne.


	2. Gestures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kuddos and the replies!

“Swan…” he whispered as he pulled her closer to him, embracing her in his warmth, his arms tightening around her, his hook at the base of her back, his hand instinctively going to her hair and tangling her curls and she took a deep breath, taking in all in, letting the familiar comfort invade her. This was the closest she’d ever been to him and she should pull back, but it had been a mix of sensations for her and she needed to stop thinking for one moment and just be. Just feel comforted by someone. By  _him_.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I didn't know it was you.” He apologized over and over and she held him tight, breathing slowly into his shoulder.

Hook knew he had to pull back, that he was on borrowed time, on borrowed terrain, letting his emotions take over at seeing her, holding her into his arm and wishing he’d never have to let her go.

But he had to. He slowly untangled his hand from her hair, and pulled away, smiling softly. “My apologies, love. It seems my emotions got the best of me… I didn't mean to be so…” he tried to find his words “ _affectionate.”_  He finished.

She smiled timidly at him.

“It’s OK… I got carried away too.” She replied timidly.

“Swan, are you ok? What happened!?” he asked confused. “We left you crossing the town line, you were on your way to a new life and new memories…”  _memories without me,_ he thought.

“I don’t know!” she exclaimed in high pitched voice. “One minute we are crossing the town line, and I’m thinking how I wished we could be with you, with all of you, and the next, we are here, in the middle of the Enchanted Forest.”

“We? Is Henry with you? Is he ok?”

“Yes, he’s just shocked and confused. As I am…” she replied “I don’t know this place, I have no clue where we are or where to go, so I left him hidden in a cave nearby while I was coming to do some scouting of the ground… I was here for less than 5 minutes when you yelled and pointed your sword at me.”

“I’m sorry…” he repeated “You were not supposed to be here, Swan. I assumed it was some sort of magical being that took your form in order to lure me in.” He sighed “I’d never draw my sword on you…  _again_ ” he finished smiling softly “We should go get your boy, Swan, and make way to your parents.”

“You know where they are?”

“Aye. I left them several hours ago; they were making way to the castle. We should reach them in a day or so of traveling. Perhaps a little more.” He explained

“Why are you not with them? Why are you travelling on the opposite direction?” she asked and he looked at her, embarrassment and longing mixed in his eyes. It suddenly hit her: without her, he was back to being alone, not really being part of anything. Without her, he was on his way to be Captain Hook, the fearsome pirate, again.

“You were going back to being a pirate…” she said softly.

“I’m searching for the Jolly Roger,” he replied “I’m not sure what comes after that… but my ship is out there somewhere and I have to find her,” he sighed “but it does not matter at the moment, Emma. We have to get Henry and start moving. Your parents will want to be reunited with you as soon as possible. And Regina too, she’s devastated over Henry.” He admitted as she pointed in the direction they should go and they started walking away from the road.

“How is Regina? Is she acting normal or is she back to…?” Emma hesitated.

“Back to Evil Queen? Nah, she has the outfit, but she’s been very miserable over losing Henry and it’s been sadness more than anything. She’s still has her usual charming personality, but no evil.” He eased her worries “I’m sure that with Henry here, she’ll have even more reasons to stay on the good side.”

He paused for a moment as the thought hit him that with Emma here, he now had many reasons to be on the good side as well. She seemed to pick up what he was thinking but she didn't mention anything. She was tired and too confused at the moment. His confession at the town line had ripped her apart, the full force of his raw feelings in his raspy voice, his longing stare, his promise of never forgetting her. She had felt the tears in her eyes and was only able to mouth a single word in return.

But the thought of losing him had been stronger than she thought it would be, it nested in her very core and she’d be lying to herself if she did not admit for a moment, just for a moment, that she wished she could be back with him, she wished she could see  _him_  again when she was crossing the town line.

And there he was; the first one to find her, the one to lead her and Henry back to her parents, sword over his shoulders and a cryptic look on his face. How did he do it? How did he materialize almost out of thin air the moment she needed him?

She pushed all thoughts aside as they reached Henry and slowly started their way back to the castle. Hook insisted she climbed on the horse with Henry and he walked next to them, making small conversation with Henry and trying to bring some normality back into the trip.

After a few hours on the road, at sundown, Hook suggested it’d be better to make camp for the night and continue travelling in the morning. He helped Emma set up a fire, and provided them with food and a cot for Henry to sleep on. He volunteered to take watch as Henry and Emma rested a little.

Emma couldn't sleep, as thoughts kept coming to her mind about her new situation and everything that entailed. She sighed deeply, resting her face in her hands.

“Can’t sleep, love?” Hook asked

“You don’t happen to have some of that rum that is your solution to everything, do you?” she asked

“Got some right here, darling,” he said, pulling out the flask. “Do you want to tell me what it’s on your mind?” he asked.

She sat next to him, grabbed the flask he handed her, took a big gulp of it and handed it back to him.

“That’s a very interesting form of drinking for a princess.” he teased her as he took a drink himself.

“And that is exactly my problem.” she stated sadly “I am a freaking princess back in the Enchanted Forest and I have no clue what the hell I am going to do with that….” She sighed and looked sadly at him “There is no going back, is there?”

“Sadly, no.” He said. “And trust me, I asked….” His eyes were staring at her, those piercing blue eyes, and she knew that he would have found a way if there were one.

“What am I going to do, Hook? I know nothing about this place, I don’t belong here...”

He could sense that she was at the verge of losing her mind and without even thinking it, his body moved towards hers, his arms wrapping around her back and she let him pull her to him, let him embrace her again, and she rested her head on his chest, sighing.

“You’ll be fine, love. You have your parents, your boy, Neal.” She could sense his pain and hesitation at the name and she snuggled closer to him. “They will all help you find your way here. You’ll learn what you need to do and you’ll conquer this adventure as you've conquered others. You’ll be a magnificent princess.” He said.

“You really think so?”

“I've told you before, Swan. I have yet to see you fail...” she looked up at him and he smiled at her, his blue eyes filled with adoration and confidence.

“Would you help me find my way here?” she ventured.

“I’m nothing but a pirate, love.” He replied sadly.

“You are more than that, Hook.”

“Not in this world.” He said and she could see the pain in his eyes, the self-deprecation creeping into him and she wanted to comfort him as he had comforted her.

“I don’t believe that for a second…” she looked deeply at him.

“You’ll be the only one, Highness.” He teased her trying to avert her eyes. She touched his face, forcing him to look at her.

“I mean it.” She said and she could see the longing in his eyes and he was an open book to her in that moment, a broken man trying to find his way back after centuries of revenge eating him alive.

He looked into her green eyes and saw her faith in him and it broke him in a million pieces. He wanted to reach out, to close that small gap between them and kiss her, taste her lips one more time as he had before, but he couldn't do it, he did not deserve her. He’d never deserved her.

She felt his stare pulling her closer to him and she could not resist his eyes any longer… as she got closer to him, she felt him freeze in his spot, his eyes closing, his breath catching… She could feel the tension between them and it was a dizzy feeling, she closed her eyes and brushed her lips to his. She felt his lips responding to hers immediately and as she tilted her head, she felt the full force of him pulling her tighter into him, deepening the kiss and it was as she remembered: passion, comfort, adoration, and strength.

Eventually they broke apart, both sighing. He pressed his forehead against hers and spoke softly, his lips brushing hers, “You should get some sleep, Emma.”

She nodded and pulled away from him, moving to lie down next to Henry and eventually falling asleep.

He stared at the fire in front of him, sighing deeply, a soft sad smile in his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter!


	3. What lies underneath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your comments and thanks to my beta Khiori for helping me with this!

_You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught._   **Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago**

 

At the break of dawn, they continued their trip. Emma was, once again, confused and scared. She felt herself tiptoeing around Hook. She had a moment of weakness and caved into kissing him the night before and was now faced with the aftermath of the event… with everything else going on, the last thing she needed was adding _“trying to figure out my feelings for a 300 year old pirate”_ into the list.

Hook could sense her awkwardness, her pulling away from him and sighed deeply.  He did not expect anything different, but it still hurt him; so he did what he did best: he hid it all inside and pulled back his cocky pirate mask. After centuries, it was a move that he had mastered and he excelled at it. The snarky comments and the innuendos were his self-defense mechanism. So he just shrugged it all off and buried it in the back of his mind, buying himself some time until he could drown it all in rum.

Late in the morning, Hook stopped and checked on his spyglass.

“There,” He said. “It won’t be much longer now, Swan. They are camping at the clearing ahead of the road, next to the castle. We should reach them in no time”

“I’ll see my dad again?” Henry asked with excitement

“Aye, lad. I’m sure he’ll be delighted to see you.” Hook continued “Both of you.” He gave Emma a pained look before focusing back on the road.

Suddenly, he heard rushed footsteps coming their way, the type of sound that could only mean danger. He turned around instinctively.

“Someone, or several ones, are coming.” He stated. “Take the horse and hurry to the clearing, Swan.” He said as he tried to assess the upcoming danger “I’ll slow them down…”

“Hook, I can’t leave you.” She hesitated.

“Swan, you have to go, you _have_ to protect the boy. I’ll be right behind you” He replied, drawing his sword and getting ready for the fight that was coming.

“You cannot fight them alone, they might be too many. I won’t leave you!” she sounded aggravated.

“Leave, Emma. NOW!” He yelled before lashing the horse and turning around to face the danger.

As the horse galloped towards the clearing, Emma looked back to see Hook fighting several men on the road. She knew she had to keep going, she had to protect Henry from the danger, but the thought of leaving Hook behind was tearing her apart. He was outnumbered and she did not know how he could come out of this one victorious. In a moment, the thought of losing him forever crossed her mind and she couldn’t think of anything else. They had to reach the clearing so she could drop Henry and go back to help him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the horse reached the clearing and she could see them: her father, her mother, Regina, Neal. They were all there, open-mouthed and dumbfounded at the sight in front of them.

“Emma!” Snow and David cried as she stopped the horse in her tracks.

“Henry!” cried Regina and Neal as they approached them.

She helped Henry get out of the horse and he threw himself in the arms of Regina and Neal.

“Emma, how?” Snow cried as David reached for her hand to help her dismount but she shook her head, panicking.

“No, I have to go back, I have to go back! I need a sword, now!” she yelled but no one seemed to understand her hasten.

“Emma what is going on? How did you get here?” David asked worryingly

“We were pulled here somehow. Hook found me, he brought me here but some attackers were coming, so he stayed behind to fight them back.” She hastily replied “But there were many, he’s outnumbered, I need to go find him… I need a sword!” she yelled again.

Understanding crept on David’s face. “Dad, please.” She pleaded

“Stay here, Emma. We’ll find him” He said as he turned around and yelled, “Robin, we need some armed men on the road, NOW!” David pulled his sword and headed for the road.

Emma dismounted the horse and collapsed on her mother’s arms.

“Hook…” she whispered as tears started running in her face. “It’s too late…”

_I’m going to lose him._

The minutes felt like hours as she tried to address questions for what she did not have the answer, her entire body shaking with fear. She couldn’t lose him, not like this, not at the mercy of some ambush in the road, trading his life for hers.

Noises were coming from the road and she stood up, panicking. One of the men was coming back and behind him came David and Robin. Between them walked Hook: David was supporting most of his weight, Hook’s arm on David’s shoulder while they walked slowly. He looked battered, beaten up. He looked _in pain._

Her feet moved on their own accord and the next minute she was next to him, arms flying to his neck, the force of her body almost knocking him down.

“Hook!” she cried.

“Careful, love.” He grunted “It’s a little too tight.” He teased.

“Hook,” she whispered.

“I’m fine, Swan,” he whispered only for her to hear.

“He’s hurt.” David said “But don’t worry, Hook. We’ll get someone to clean your wound.”

“I’ll do it.” Emma said.

“Emma, there are several people in here that can help.” David offered, a little confused. “Surely you want to rest and talk to your mother, there is so much to figure out.”

“It’s ok, love,” Hook volunteered. “Go be with your family.”

“NO.” she said, “I’ll do it. Come with me, Hook.”

She looked around until she found a more secluded spot where she could take him. She saw a small cave a few steps ahead.

“Can you walk to the cave?” she asked.

“Aye.” He replied in a croaky whisper.

She helped him sit down, his back against the rock wall and she went to retrieve bandages and water to treat him, returning quickly to his side and not really paying attention to the confused looks she was getting from everyone in the clearing.

She could see the wound on his left shoulder and she helped him take off his coat and vest. She carefully removed his shirt and he winced in pain.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered apologetically.

He smiled and endured the pain as she cleaned his wound and bandaged his shoulder. The cut was clean and not too deep, but she could tell it was painful.

“You could have died, Hook.” Her voice was tremulous.

“I’m fully aware of that, Swan.”

“Why did you do it? Why risk your life like that?”

He looked at her with intense blue eyes, his gaze so strong it almost rooted her to the spot.

 “Do you really have to ask, Emma?”  

As she finished tying the bandage, her fingers ran along his shoulder towards his collarbone, carefully caressing him. He sighed deeply, throwing his head back against the stone wall. Her fingers lingered on his collarbone, before moving down to his chest, fidgeting with the charms on his necklace. The intimacy was ripping him apart. He would not be able to hold onto his control much longer if she kept touching him like that.

“Careful, love. I might be wounded, but I’m still capable of a lot.” He warned her in a husky whisper, his eyebrows waggling.

She looked at him intently, her hand slowly moving down to his ribcage and she left it there, slowly caressing him again.

It was all it took for him to lose control as his hand went to the back of her neck and he pulled her to him, kissing her slowly but with such intent that Emma felt her entire body bursting into flames.  Emma’s hand remained on his ribcage while her other hand grabbed his hair and she pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss. She knew it was wrong, she knew of the several, thousands reasons while this should not be happening, but she couldn’t bring herself to end it.

Hook’s lips claimed Emma’s as his own, his mouth exploring every inch of hers, memorizing every single movement that would make her gasp and shiver.  He knew this was ending very soon, he knew this was his only chance.

He pulled away sighing “As much as I hate to say this, and trust me, I do abhor it; we have to stop.”

She looked at him sheepishly “Hook… I…” She hesitated.

“It’s OK, love. Don’t despair, not over something as _fantastic_ as this.” He teased her and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Like I said, as much I’d love to continue with our _activities_ , your entire family is out there.”

She looked down and he could see the turmoil of emotions and thoughts that were crossing her mind. She was not ready for this; he knew she was not ready. The pirate in him wanted nothing more than to push her a little over the edge, to take her as he took all the treasures he once coveted, to lure her into him, take her away with him and never let her go. But the man of honor in him, the one he buried deep down when Liam died, knew that he’d never forgive himself if he did that, if he took her away from the family she so desperately missed for many years in her life. She needed to find her way here, in the Enchanted Forest.

“Emma, look at me.” He asked gently and he smiled softly at her when she looked up. “You will be fine here; your family is waiting for you. And I’ll be ok now that you have treated me and patched me up properly. I’ll just take my horse and resume my trip.”

She looked at him in shockingly, “You are leaving?!?”

“Like I said, love, my ship is out there and I have to find her.” He tried to sound unattached and failed miserably in the attempt.

“But you can stay here with us.” She said. “I’m sure David and Mary Margaret would be ok with that and I…”

“And do what, exactly? Wait around until you figure out how you feel about Neal?” He asked wounded and she looked at him, hurt in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Swan, but please answer me one question: are you ready to face this? Whatever _this_ is?” He gestured at the both of them.

Her sad eyes were all the answer he needed.

“I thought so.” He whispered melancholically, as he pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. “I have to leave, Swan. Please understand this... I’m nothing but a pirate to them and I’ll never be more. I cannot stay here, I have to go find my ship and figure it out from there. But _you_ have to stay here, with your family and your son; and figure out what this all means to you.”

He pulled back and looked into her green eyes. “Do you understand?” He asked, hoping she could see how hard it was for him to leave her and how much it was needed for him to do so.

She nodded, tears in her eyes.  He kissed her forehead one more time before pulling his shirt back on, grabbing his vest and coat, getting up and leaving the cave.

“Promise me you’ll be careful.” She said before he left.

He slowly turned around, his resolve almost gone in that moment, but he took one deep breath and pulled himself together. “I promise.” He whispered.

As he left the cave, he could feel them staring at him. He could feel the dagger look Neal was giving him, but he stood still and proud, heading for his horse. He ignored David’s attempt to reach out to him as he did not want to hear their words. They could say what they wanted; they could probably be nice and civil to him considering he just delivered Emma and Henry to them. They could even invite him to stay, with a promise of a new start full of hope for him. They could say all that.

But he knew what lay underneath: Emma Swan was in the Enchanted Forest. The long lost princess, the heiress of the throne, was back in the place she belonged, the place she was supposed to be, to fulfill her destiny and have her fairytale happy ending. And he was no prince to give her that ending.


	4. The Jolly Roger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because there always has to be a Jolly Roger chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your comments and thanks to my beta Khiori for helping me with this!

_She was lost in her longing to understand._ **Gabriel Garcia Marquez, _Love in the Time of Cholera_**

He found her again a couple of weeks later, escorted by royal guards as she visited the port and got acquainted with the kingdom. She looked beautiful in a grey and green pant suit that accentuated her features, a vision of gold curls and green eyes.

He looked the same as before, she thought: all smiles, innuendos and arched eyebrows as he bowed at her.

“Hook! How are you?” She asked smiling sincerely.

“Very good, Milady, and you?” His eyes sparkled teasingly.

“Please, stop with that nonsense. It irks me.” She sighed frustrated.

“You are a princess, love. You probably need to start acting like it.” He arched his eyebrows at her as he started to get closer to her. “It’s very nice to see you.” He smiled.

Before she could reply, she heard a voice behind her.

“Hook!” Tinkerbelle yelled happily as she approached both of them. “It’s so good to see you again!” Tinkerbelle smiled at him.

“Lady Belle…” He bowed at her as he did in Neverland, a small smirk on his face and his eyes scanned the fairy smiling at him briefly. He could not help but notice how Emma shifted uncomfortably. Was it jealousy? “What are you doing here?”  He asked.

“I’m helping Emma with her magic.” She replied, “I take over when Regina has no time for the lessons. Or patience.”

“I’m sure the two of you are having a lot of fun.” He replied mischievously as he looked intensely into Emma’s eyes. “Have you seen the port yet?” He inquired politely.

“We were actually heading that way.” Emma replied smiling.

“Let me show it to you then…” He proposed flirtatiously, his eyebrows arching as he got closer to her, only to be stopped by one of the royal guards’ hand on his chest.

“Do not get any closer to the princess!” The guard commanded.

“Who the bloody hell is this buffoon, love?” Hook asked.

“We have orders to protect the princess at all cost.” The man replied.

“Do they even know who I am?” He asked Emma who looked at him apologetically.

“I’m sorry. David and Mary Margaret got a little carried away after the incident in the road.” She tried to explain.

“That’s alright, Swan. They are doing what is needed to keep you safe, love.” He smiled at her.

The guard interrupted again, “You should address the princess as Your Highness!”

 Hook lost any patience he might have left at that point, “I’ll address the princess in any way I like, or actually, any way _she_ likes, mate. And I’ll get as close to her as _she_ likes it.” He finished by daringly getting closer to Emma.

“Show some respect!” The guard commanded, his hand going to his sword.  “It’s Your Highness, _pirate_.”

“And it’s _Captain Jones_ , guard.” Emma replied shortly as Hook looked at her with admiration. “It’d be good for you to show respect as well.” She took one step closer to Hook and took his arm, placing hers underneath, “And I’d be thrilled if you escort me to the port, Captain.” She beamed at him, mischief in her green eyes.

Hook smiled back at her, “My pleasure, love.”

“Tink, are you coming with us?” Emma asked.

Tinkerbelle gave them one amused look and shook her head, “I already know the port and I promised Regina I’d help her with something. Have fun, you two.” She winked at them.

Hook lead them to the port, as the guards stayed a few feet behind them. He pointed at all the interesting features, like the docks and the taverns, entertaining her with his stories and innuendos. She smiled and rolled her eyes at him, the both of them falling into their usual back and forth. In a realm where everything made little sense to her, he was familiar. Their dynamic was familiar, and comforting.  In a realm where he had nothing left, she was his glimpse of hope.

She told him about what they were able to figure out regarding their coming to the Enchanted Forest. It seems that her and Henry’s wishes to go back with them, combined with her magic as the savior and Henry’s truest believer heart, created a loophole in the curse, allowing them to go back. Since it was not Regina’s doing – she was willing to pay the price- but Henry’s true love for her that brought them back, there were no magical consequences.

“A happy ending for the Evil Queen,” Hook said, “who would have thought?”

“She and Mary Margaret have worked out their differences and Regina is staying in the castle to be close to Henry, but she’s actually talking about getting her ‘own place’, whatever that means in here.” Emma replied. “But enough about me, what have you been up to?” She asked.

“Still searching for the Jolly Roger.” He told her. “It has not been in port, but there have been some rumors of seeing it sailing the seas; so it’s only a matter of time until it comes to port and then I’ll take  the bastard that stole it and claim back what is mine.” His voice had a mean streak and Emma looked at him with concern in her eyes.

“Hook, is this a good idea? You don’t know who took it, or how dangerous they can be.”

“It’s _my_ ship, Swan. I am not going to sit here and let someone else take what is mine, what _rightfully_ belongs to me.” He spat.

“Didn’t you take it from someone else to begin with?” She knew the words were a mistake as soon as they left her mouth. He looked hurt and disappointed and he stared at her, sighing.

“I don’t expect you to approve, _princess_.”

“Don’t call me that…” She replied. “I worry about you, Hook.”

“Don’t. I’ll get my ship back and I’ll be fine.”

She felt frustrated at his stubbornness.  She stopped their walk and looked at him concerned. He stood in front of her, his intense blue eyes looking at her in disbelief.

“Why does it matter? Is it really that important to risk your life over it?”

With each word, his heart sank a little bit more. He expected her to understand, but she didn’t. Her eyes were looking at him with confusion, almost contempt and he realized that the only person he thought could understand, _would_ understand, didn’t. It broke him to pieces.

“You really don’t understand, do you?” He sighed sad and defeated as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Understand what? That you are willing to put your life at risk for a _ship_?”

“It’s not just a ship, Swan!” He finally lost it. He got closer to her and his low voice felt even worse than if he was yelling at her. “That is all _I have left_ from them! You and I, I thought we understood each other. What it was like to be alone in the world, with no one who cared for you, all your loved ones gone. But _you_ got your family back, Swan. They are all here: your son, your parents, Neal.” He choked at the name. “You have a chance to make up for lost time, rebuild your life again and get your little happy ending with your son and his father, the big love of your life, all nice and cozy in that castle of yours.”

She looked at him shocked, almost wounded. He knew his words were harsh and that she probably didn’t deserve them, but after three hundred years of enduring all this alone, he could not help himself.

“You know what I have left?” He continued, raw pain making his voice shake and break. “ _Nothing._ The people _I loved_ have been gone for three hundred years, Emma. No one remembers them, no one but me. And the little I have to remember them by _is on that ship_.” He looked at her and she could see his heart breaking in his stare.

“To all of you, I’m just Hook, Captain bloody Hook, the pirate, the villain, the terror of the seven seas, someone worthy of contempt and disdain. Only two people in my entire existence have been able to _really_ see me, only two people have been able to know and love Killian Jones. The man behind the pirate. The brother behind the uniform. And they both died on that ship. All I have left from them, from Liam, from Milah, from _me_ , from _Killian Jones_ , it’s on that ship. So don’t you dare tell me anything about it.”

She could see the pain in his eyes and her heart broke for him. She’d been so blind to see what was really all about and she felt horrible about it. He’d always been able to read her so well, to understand her and she had failed to do the same for him. She was only beginning to commensurate what he was telling her and her hand reached out to him, trying to comfort him, but he pulled away, hurt and pain in his eyes.

“I really thought if there was someone that could’ve understood it was you, Swan. But, alas, I was mistaken.” He averted her eyes and addressed the guards standing a few feet away from them. “Guards! Kindly escort Her Highness back to the castle, and ensure the lady’s safety with your life. Her loved ones are waiting for her return.” He looked at her one more time and nodded his head in salutation, “Your Highness.” He said curtly and turned around to leave.

“Hook!...” She called after him, but he did not turn back.

 

He regretted his actions as soon as he left her, but he couldn’t bring himself to go after her. He was still hurt, all his feelings about losing Liam and Milah coming back to him, flooding him with despair.  It had been many years, centuries, countless nights mourning the loss of his loved ones and now he felt empty. His revenge was done, the crocodile was gone and all there was left was a void. He had to start all over again, and he did not know how. He had nothing in this world or any other anymore.

He had nothing to look for.                 

But _her_.   

She was the only thing he could actually look forward to, even if it was selfish for him to allow himself to feel that way. He had no right over her, no right in wanting her, desiring her, liking her. But he did nonetheless. He smiled ironically at the thought. He vowed to win her heart in Neverland and he’d just pushed her away, again. He’d pushed her away to her family a few weeks ago and now he’d pushed her away to the castle. And all he could think was how wrong that felt, how right would have been to reach for the hand she was giving him and let her comfort him. Open up to her and let her see him, completely, let her understand him in the way only she could. But he was a flawed man and his pride had been stronger than anything else.

And his pride took time to wear off. He sulked and drank for almost a week, pondering what to do, playing scenarios in his mind on how to reach her, how to get her alone, how to explain. He would soon discard one scenario and move to the next, plotting, thinking, overthinking, as time passed by. He never cared much for time passing, after centuries in Neverland where time was frozen, he had learned that sometimes it was worth the wait. But he did not have the luxury of frozen time in the Enchanted Forest, he came to realize: time would pass, people would move on, and every second he spent sulking was one more second without seeing her. He stood up abruptly from the chair he was in and got ready to leave the tavern and find her. He’d figure out what to say in the road. Or when he saw her.

As he was about to leave, Smee came running through the door.

“Captain, Captain!” He yelled excited.

“I’m about to leave, Mr. Smee.” He replied annoyed. “What is it?” he inquired.

“Captain, the Jolly Roger has made port.”

 

He was fast on his feet, running towards the port and his ship. And then he saw her: enchanted wood, white sails, magnificent in his eyes. His ship. His beloved ship.

And Blackbeard was standing on its deck, a smug smile on his face. Hook did not hesitate a second in drawing his sword and point it at Blackbeard’s throat.

“I’ll take back my ship, now.” He said with menace. “Walk away and I’ll spare your life; but dare to challenge me and I’ll slit your throat right here.”

Blackbeard laughed intently, “The thing is, Hook, that I sold your ship two days ago. The new owner is below deck, in the captain’s cabin. Feel free to go conduct your business there.” And with that, he pushed the sword away from his throat and left.

Hook took a deep breath, sheathed the sword and headed for his cabin. He was already mentally preparing for the confrontation, all the possible scenarios playing in his head as to how he would get the ship back from the new owner. He took a deep breath and opened the door of his cabin, entering with determination and authority, only to look up and felt like he had been hit by lightning. 

He was not ready for this scenario: Emma Swan was standing in the middle of his cabin. She looked at him with a timid smile.

“Surprise…” She said.

“Swan…” He whispered confused. “How?” He could not begin to gather his thoughts.

“You’d be surprised what can be done when you have a fleet and guards at your disposal.” She smiled again, a little more reassured this time. “They spotted the Jolly Roger in another port, a few days away from here. I… I… made arrangements with the person that had it and now it’s here.” She finished quickly.

“You _bought_ my ship?” He did not sound pleased. “ _You paid Blackbeard money for my ship!?_ ”

She took a deep breath, “Yes, I did. And I’m not sorry about it.” She said defiantly.

“You are not sorry?” He yelled, “You gave money to a filthy pirate to get something that rightfully belongs to me and you are not sorry?”

“Hook, I bought it for you. The ship, it’s for _you_.” She tried to explain.

He started pacing around the cabin, like a caged animal. “Why would you do that? I could have _gotten it back_ without your help! I can take care of Blackbeard!  I don’t need the _princess of the bloody kingdom_ to buy things for me.” He looked at her, rage in his eyes. “Do you have any idea what this looks like?”

“I don’t _care_ what it looks like.” She spat.

“But I care!” He yelled back. “You have any idea the position you’ve left me in?” He honestly did not give a damn about what they’d say about him; he would just slice their throats and be done with it. But what they would say about her… He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

“Emma, do you have any idea how this makes you look like? In front of the kingdom, in front of all the pirate lowlifes out there, in front of your parents, in front of _Neal_? _”_ He’d love to see Neal’s face when he heard about this. If the rumors of the cave were bad, this was going to be even worse.

“I don’t care what _anyone_ thinks about this.” She said. “I did what I had to do and I’d do it again!”

He looked at her, standing in the middle of the cabin, wild with frustration at him. She was beautiful, breathtaking in challenging him.

“Why?” He asked softly, a plea in his eyes. She stared back at him, rage and passion in her eyes.

He could not stand looking at her anymore. He averted his eyes.

“Look at me.” She pleaded, but he couldn’t. “ _Killian_ , please.” She said.

He always thought he could not want her more than he already had. That she had gotten so under his skin already that it was not possible for him to crave for her more.

He was wrong. Hearing his name on her lips had awoken a new depth in his feelings for her.

His head went up slowly, his gaze fixed upon her.

“I should have understood.” She started hesitantly. “And I didn’t. I’m sorry, Killian. I’m so sorry for treating this as if it wasn’t important, as important as it was for you. I had to do something. What is the point of being the fucking princess of this kingdom if I cannot use it to do this for you? To get you back your _home_ , your _memories_ , after everything you’ve done for me? You helped me get my son back, you risked your life so I could reach my parents. This is the least I can do for you.”

“I did not expect anything in return, Swan. You did not owe me anything.” He said as he slowly crossed the cabin to stand close to her, so close that he felt intoxicated by her.

She looked up at him, “I know. But I wanted to do it.” She breathed heavily, feeling dizzy by the nearness of him, but she did not want to back away. “I know you feel you have no one left that can remember who you were… but I’m here and I know you. I _know_ there’s more in you than a man consumed by hurt and revenge. I’ve seen him, Killian…” She trailed off and looked down, sighing. His hand went to her, his calloused fingers caressing her cheek and he lifted her face, making her look at him.

“Emma…” He whispered softly. “Say it again.” He pleaded, his lips getting closer to hers.

“Say what?” She asked slowly, losing herself in his gaze.

“My name, love.” He whispered, his eyes looking intently at her.

“Killian…” she whispered against his lips as he closed the gap between them and kissed her slowly. The softness lasted for a second, only to be consumed by his passion for her and he deepened the kiss almost fiercely, spinning her around until he pinned her against the wall. His hand was on her hair once again, her glorious hair where he could lose himself, and he pressed his body fully against her.

He could stay like this forever, he thought. This time, he would not pull away.

She did, eventually, gasping for breath and her cheeks flushed. She smiled softly at him.

“I have to go.” She said. “I… they are waiting for me.”

He knew, once again, that she was not ready, and he decided not to push any further that day. “Thank you, Emma.” He whispered as he smiled against her lips. He kissed her softly one more time before pulling away and letting her leave.

She turned around to give him one last look before leaving the cabin, “Anytime, Killian.”


	5. Under the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your kuddos and comments! And to my beta, Khiori

_The pieces I am, (s)he gathered them and gave them back to me in all the right order_.— **Toni Morrison, _Beloved_**

As he predicted, the rumors were everywhere. He had to punch a few drunken sailors the first couple of nights, as they attempted to ease him into conversation on the many talents the princess might possess or asked him what services exactly had he performed that granted him a free ship. After setting matters right - it is, after all, bad form to refer to a lady in such way - the rest of the town had refrained from even engaging in those types of conversations around him. He also knew from Smee that the castle was humming with rumors over this as well: there had been an important confrontation between Emma and her parents – he could imagine David’s face when he found out about the Jolly Roger. And, apparently, Neal had stormed out of the castle and into the Dark One’s home after a pouting scene where Emma had told him it was her business what she did and whom she did it with. Smee’s words, not his. He tried not to smile when he heard that. _Much_.

Emma Swan sighed deeply as she looked at the tankard full of ale in front of her. What she wouldn’t give for a good six-pack and a bar with a jukebox. She wanted an escape after her endless fight with her parents about her future and her choices and she had to disguise herself (peasant clothes, braided hair and she was actually _hiding_ in the tavern) and sneak out of the castle to get a fucking drink. This was not really what she signed up for. She truly missed her world today.

She knew Mary Margaret and David meant well, but they were driving her insane. They kept pushing her about giving Neal a chance until she had snapped and made it very clear to them that she had no intention whatsoever of getting back together with someone who had framed her and left her in jail. No matter how sorry he was about it or how much he believed what fucking Pinocchio had told him, Emma was done with him. She couldn’t be with someone that had left her when things got rough. She just couldn’t. She had not even spoken to Neal ever since he stormed out offended after he found out about the Jolly Roger and demanded to know what was going on between her and Hook. She did not care about it, to be honest, but she did dread the conversation she had with Henry over the fact that she was not getting back together with Neal. While a little sad, Henry seemed to have taken it well; better than her lovely parents. The most ridiculous thing of it all was Regina taking _her_ side and blatantly calling out David and Mary Margaret over this as well. Granted, this was at the same time she announced she was actually going to be spending some time out of the castle because she _was seeing someone_. Oh yes, as it turned out, Tinkerbell had been helping her finding her True Love again and Regina was now dating _Robin Hood_. Robin – fucking – Hood. Emma sighed as she finished her ale and motioned for another one. Some days, things were too much for her to take while being sober. She needed to get hammered. _Now_.

She sensed someone next to her and turned around. There was a drunken sailor trying to hit on her. _Fantastic_. She ignored him and turned around but the guy kept getting closer. Just when she was about to snap, turning around and pulling the knife she had on her boots, she felt someone getting between her and the sailor.

“Walk away, mate.” Hook spoke in a menacing tone, his hook scratching the surface of the counter, very close to where the sailor’s hand was. The sailor tried to protest, only to have Hook gett very close to his face and speak again, even more menacing, “The lady is taken, mate. Get out.”

After the sailor left, he turned around and smiled angrily at her, “What the _bloody hell_ you think you are doing, Swan?”

“I just came for a drink.” She replied. The protective tone was cute, but she didn’t need protection.

“In here? Without escort? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? At some point, one of these blabbering idiots is going to figure out who you are, _princess_.” He spoke the last word in a hissing whisper, getting very close to her face.

“I can take care of myself.” She retorted while she took a drink from her ale.

“I have no doubts that you can, Swan. I’ve seen it. But a room of tough men is too much for everyone, even for a tough lass like you.” His sincere concern touched her.

“I seriously need a drink, Killian. That castle is too much sometimes.” She replied honestly. “I just _had_ to get out…”

He could feel that whatever was going on; was finally getting on her nerves. And he wanted to be there for her, for whatever she needed.

“Well, if that is the case, I offer you my ship, love.” She looked at him intrigued and Hook smirked at her, “You can drink as much as you like in the privacy of my ship, Swan, without any risk, away from prying eyes.”

“Really? And how do I know this is not an excuse for you to get me drunk and alone with you?” She teased him.

“Because I believe in good form, Emma. And I would not take advantage of a woman in such state. You have my word, princess.” He bowed at her.

She smiled at him, putting out her hand for him to hold, “Lead the way, Captain.”

 

A few hours later, Emma Swan was almost completely hammered. She could still form a somewhat coherent line of thought, but she had completely lost the ability to keep her mouth shut. She was currently entertaining Hook with the story of her first royal appearance.

“You have to stand on your feet for _hours_. It’s just insane, everything in here is just insane.” She trailed off, lost in thought. “And _time_ , time is just completely fucked up in here. Every single thing takes so fucking long to happen. Coming here from the castle: hours. Getting someone a message: days. Travelling to another part of the kingdom: weeks. It’s _too-fucking-long_.”

“What’s the rush, Swan? Not everything has to happen immediately.” He replied smiling. “Your world had a problem with waiting. And some things are worth waiting for.” He finished quickly and she could sense his eyes on her.

They were on deck, facing the sea. The Jolly was moored in a more secluded spot and no one was on sight. She looked at the sea and sighed.

“You really are a patient man, aren’t you, Killian?” He could not help but notice the hidden meaning of her question.

“I spent 300 years plotting revenge and waiting for my opportunity, love. Patience and persistence come along with that. When you truly want something, it’s worth not just fighting for it, but also having the patience to _wait_ for it, darling.” He felt his words had made her think and he saw a hint of sadness in her face. He quickly changed the topic.

“I just want to know one thing, Swan.” He looked at her seriously.

“Tell me…” She whispered.

“Did he really _pout_?”

Her laughter flooded the air. Her pure, sincere laughter. “How do you _know_ that?”

“You’d be surprised what I know, Swan. Smee is quite the town gossip.”

“Who knew that pirates liked gossip?”

“Well, it’s information. And information is always important for a pirate.” He shrugged. “Smee takes it to another level, though…” He finished smirking. “I think he has a dalliance with one of the cooks in the castle.”

“So you know about the fight with Neal and my parents. Do you know about Regina?” She asked

“That she’s dallied with Robin Hood?” He smirked at her, “Yes, I heard about that one. Who knew that the Evil Queen’s True Love was a thief with a moral code?” He poured rum on their tumblers again and quickly drained his. “How is the lad taking it?”

“Henry is taking it pretty well. He’s happy for her. Regina has some sort of house nearby the castle and she spends a lot of time there with them. She seems quite happy…”

“She’s all nice and sweet and sings to birds?” Hook teased.

“Not really, but she does smile more often.” Emma sighed, “She’s been almost a friend to me. When I got into a fight with my parents about Neal, she backed me up. She told them she expected them to want me to have more self-respect than to get back with the coward that left me in jail to take the blame for his crime. She also told them that if I wanted to give the pirate the ship back, I was clearly in my right to do so, considering the pirate was the only man to have never let me down so far.”

Hook almost choked at her words. “Remind me to thank her majesty the next time I see her.”

Emma looked at Killian’s profile, his gaze upon the ocean. He was strikingly beautiful under the moonlight, his features enhanced by the soft light, his eyes impossibly blue. He had taken off his coat and vest; and was leaning on the rail, his tall figure looking very tempting in the middle of the night.

“Killian…” She whispered while holding her drink.

“Yes, love?”

“What if I wanted you to back down on your word?” She asked him.

He looked at her, she had mischief in her eyes but there was also the glaze of the rum clouding her judgment.

“You are not thinking clearly, Swan…” He sighed, “This is not a good idea.”

“Are you sure?” Her voice sounded like velvet as she looked at him.

“Are you?” He countered while getting closer to her, invading her space. He looked at her intently. “I’ll tell you what, love. If you really mean it, leave the rum, I’ll fetch you some tea, we wait a few hours until you sober up and then, by all means, we do whatever you want.” He got even closer, his mouth hovering hers. “Just leave the drink, Swan. And I’m yours.”

His intense gaze was too much for her. She quickly backed down and washed over the drink. She could see hurt flashing in his eyes for a brief second, before he masked it up with a smirk.

“Mary Margaret is pregnant…” She said abruptly, trying to change the conversation again.

“And we finally made it to the point where you tell me what was _really_ bothering you tonight.” He smiled triumphantly.  She looked at him surprised. “Open book, love.”

She should know by now she could not hide things from him. “They are moving on, Killian. They are all moving on with their lives in here, in the Enchanted Forest, and somehow I’m expected to drop everything I knew my entire life and just make this my home.”

He looked at her, understanding and sympathy in his eyes. She sighed. “I love my parents and I love Henry and I want to be with them, I _wished_ for this. It’s just…” She trailed off.

“It’s just hard to find your place in all this.” He finished for her. “And that is alright, Swan. You don’t have to have all the answers right away.”

“But I’m the Savior, I’m the lost princess, I’m supposed to have everything under control.”

“Says who?” He sighed. “Swan, you just have to be you, nothing else.”

“I don’t know who that is anymore.”

“Yes, you do.” He got closer to her, his eyes never leaving hers, his intense stare filling her with strength and desire. “You know exactly who you are, Swan. You’re just afraid to show it, afraid they won’t like it, afraid they won’t want you, afraid they leave you. But _you_ are enough. _You are more than enough_.” He finished vehemently, his intense blue eyes conveying all his emotions.

His words sank deep in her. His blind faith in her was intoxicating, even more than the rum that she had been drinking all night.

“Killian…” She smiled softly at him, tenderness in her eyes.

He had to pull away. He knew he had to pull away. He brushed her lips softly with his, almost imperceptible, before pulling away with a heavy sigh. “You should get some sleep, princess. My cabin is at your disposal. I’ll take the crew quarters. You have nothing to worry about, my crew won’t be coming back tonight.”

She quickly retired to his cabin while he remained there, on deck, looking at the ocean.

 

She woke up the next morning with a terrible headache, courtesy of what was clearly a terrible hangover. What she wouldn’t give for a couple of aspirin. As she got out of the bed, she heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.” She said.

Hook entered the cabin, looking impossibly gorgeous with his hair slightly tousled and showing no signs of a hangover whatsoever. The bastard. He was balancing a tankard on his hook.

“Mint tea.” He said, “It helps with the headache.” He smiled at her.

She took the tankard and sipped the tea. “Thank you, it’s comforting. But I should get back, they are probably already organizing a search party.”

He looked at her smiling, “I sent word to the castle last night. I presume an escort will be here any minute now to take you back.”

She dreaded the moment she had to face David and Mary Margaret again, especially with a headache and after spending the night on the Jolly Roger.

“Is your crew back already?” She asked, hoping to divert her thoughts from the impeding confrontation.

“Not yet, they will probably be back later in the afternoon. They are taking as much time on land as possible.” He looked at her sheepishly. “We set sail tomorrow, Swan.”

She looked at him sadly “You’re leaving?”

“It’s only a short trip. But I miss sailing and the Jolly needs some action as well…”He trailed off and she could sense there was more to it than what he was willing to share, and she decided not to press the issue further. She walked towards him, her hand going instinctively to his chest.

“Be careful…” She whispered.

“Always…” He promised.

She looked at him, green eyes meeting blue. “Thank you for last night, Killian. And I-I’m sorry if I – when I – you know,” She trailed off, embarrassed.

His arms circled her waist and he pressed her against him, his hook at the end of her back as he spun her around and pressed her against the door, his hand resting next to her face as his lips spoke next to her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Next time you want me to back down on my word, Swan, come _sober_.” His tone left nothing to guess or wonder. She knew exactly what he meant.

“Is that a proposal, Captain?” She spoke daringly.

His eyes met hers and she could see the desire in them, “It’s an invitation, love.”

This time, she closed the space between them, her lips seeking his hastily, her hands grabbing his hair and pulling him closer, needing to kiss him again and again. When they pulled away, both breathless and panting, she looked at him smiling and he rested his forehead against hers.

“Your escort is probably waiting outside,” He said, his hand caressing her hair.

She sighed, kissing him slowly one more time before pulling from him and opening the door, “Sail safely, Killian.” She said before leaving.

“Aye, I will.” She heard him whisper before closing the door of the cabin.


	6. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your kuddos and comments andnd to my beta, Khiori :)

He waited in his cabin, his forehead pressed against the door. He couldn’t see her leave him, not after being so intoxicatingly close to her again. It had become a familiar rhythm between them, one he had come to appreciate and look forward to. With each encounter fate gave him, he found himself falling more and more for her, if that was even possible at this point. He was wretchedly lost in his feelings for her.

But he had several obligations to attend to on his ship before they set sail, so he sighed deeply and headed above deck. Once he was up and he could feel the wind in his face and the smell of the sea, he smiled contently. He was looking forward to this trip: he would miss Emma and think about her every moment, but he also wanted to feel again that sense of belonging that only sailing had given him.

He was carefully examining the sails when he heard the voice behind him.

“What _exactly_ happened last night between you and _my daughter_?”

He sighed, plastered a smile on his face and turned around to face David, standing in all his majestic glory with menacing stance.

“Good morning, mate. Do you want to come aboard?”

“I am not in the mood for games, Hook.” David warned him.

“Neither am I, majesty. But I’d rather keep our conversation private from prying eyes and ears and I assume you prefer it as well.” Hook replied motioning David to join him near the helm.

David walked towards him and Hook could see the anger in the king’s stance.

“I’ll ask again, Hook. What happened last night?”

Hook smirked, “A gentleman never tells, your majesty. You know that.” He teased.

“Hook…” David looked at him.

“Mate, I found your daughter drinking in a tavern, making a very poor job at attempting to disguise her identity. She had already caught the attention of a few sailors and it was a matter of time before one of them figured out who she really was. I scared them away and since it was clear that she had no intention of returning to the castle, I offered her my ship to do as she pleased.”

“You brought her here to get drunk?!?”

“You are not hearing me, _mate_. She had all the intention to get drunk in the first place; I only tried to secure her safety as much as possible.”

“By bringing her here to be alone with you?” David sneered at him, “How is that safe for her, _pirate_?”

His words stung Hook deeply and his smile faded, replaced by a very controlled rage. He spoke slowly and menacingly, “I know you don’t think much of pirates, your majesty. But I told you in Neverland: I believe in good form. I don’t fight invalids and I certainly don’t take advantage of women whose judgment might be clouded by alcohol. Insult me again like this on _my ship_ and I don’t care if you are the king of the bloody kingdom, I will fight you.”

David could see the truth in his words, “I apologize, Hook. I’m just…” He sighed, “We just didn’t know what to do and when the message came to the castle…”

“Tell me, mate. What was _I_ supposed to do? It was clear she was not going back to the castle; I did the only thing I could think at that moment to ensure her safety. I sent word so you’d know where she was; but I couldn’t drag her back to the castle and risk losing her trust, _and her_ , in the process.” Hook sighed. “We shared a few drinks, she slept on my cabin, I took the crew’s cabin. My crew was out, she was safe here, her virtue intact.” He smirked at David, purposely omitting what happened that morning in his cabin.

David raised an eyebrow at him and countered, staring at him, “What is going on between you and Emma, Hook?”

Hook held his stare, “That is a question you need to ask your daughter, David.”

“I’m asking you…”

“And I have no business answering on her behalf, mate. It is her place to decide what information about her _personal_ life she shares or does not share with you.” Hook replied.

“I’m her _father_.” David stated.

“And she is _30 years old_. She is an adult, your majesty. I know that you have the best intentions, but you need to stop treating her like she’s a young, naïve princess. She was a _sheriff_ on her realm, for god’s sake. She is the _Savior._ She is strong, stubborn and fiercely independent. She will not like you demanding _me_ answers on her behalf; not to mention, I have no interest in discussing my intentions with Emma with anyone but _her_.”  

David looked confused and for a moment, Hook took pity on him.

“Have you tried _listening_ to her?” Hook asked carefully.

David looked at him offended, “Of course we have! We only want what is best for our daughter. She can tell us anything she wants and we will support her, no matter what…”

“Then tell her that, mate. Emma spent almost her entire life with people leaving her behind, choosing someone else, and always feeling lost and alone. And now she finds herself in an odd land, away from everything she has known. You might be at ease in here, but she is not. And she’s probably afraid that if she tells you how she really feels, you might not like it…”

“We might not like it, but we will always support her!”

“She doesn’t know that, David. No one has ever been there for her unconditionally when she was growing up. And wounds like that tend to linger…” Hook sighed deeply, his own memories coming back to him. “Just take it from me, mate. When you’ve lived most of your life with people abandoning you and you finally have someone that cares, the fear of making a mistake and having them leave you can be paralyzing. You need to make her understand you won’t leave her, no matter what she does. She doesn’t know how that feels. It’s not a feeling that comes naturally to her.”

Understanding crept into David’s face, and at that moment he could see how Hook was probably the only person that Emma could relate to in this realm. And it hurt him deeply that his daughter did not feel that she could come to him and Snow with her fears. He smiled sadly, “We’re trying too hard to make her fit in here, aren’t we?”

Hook sighed, “Perhaps a little; but you only want what’s best for her. She knows that. But a royal life, considering where she’s coming from, it can be overwhelming.”

 David sighed, “Speaking of royal life… there will be a ball.”

“A _ball_?”

“We want to celebrate taking our kingdom back, present Emma in society, celebrate her returning to our family…” David said sheepishly.

“You are going to parade her around the princes of the kingdoms hoping she finds a suitor…” Hook looked disgusted. He sighed deeply, some things might never change. “You know what, mate? I don’t want to waste your time anymore.”

“Will you come to the ball? You are invited.” David handed him an invitation.

A ball. Emma in a ball gown, looking breathtaking. Hook thought about it for a second. The image only would take his breath away. And then he’d be forced to see her dance with a parade of princes and suitors that would try to get her attention. Some of them even might. He shook his head.

“I’m sailing away today, mate. I’m not sure I’ll be back in time…” Hook trailed off.

“I’m sure Emma would like you to be there…” David insisted.

“If that was the case, I’m sure she’d let me know.” Hook said. _And she hasn’t._ He smiled at the king, “My crew will be here any minute and I have several things to attend to before I set sail, so if there is nothing else that your majesty needs…”

“Have a safe trip, Hook.” David said.

“Aye, thank you, your majesty.” Hook nodded before going below deck.

Snow was waiting for Emma at the door when she reached the castle. Emma was surprised that David was not with her.

“Where’s David?”

“He went for a ride…” Snow replied slightly nervous.

Emma looked at her. “He went to see Hook, didn’t he?” She asked. Snow looked down sheepishly.

“Really?!? Please tell me this is _not_ happening…” Emma stormed into the castle.

“Emma, wait!” Snow replied “We were worried…”

Emma sighed, “I know and I’m sorry I left like that; but that does not give you the right to go after him! He was trying to keep me safe.” Emma smiled ironically. “As he always does…”

“Can we please talk about this, Emma? Just give me time to talk.” Snow pleaded.

Emma sighed and nodded as they headed inside the castle and sat down in one of the rooms.

“Emma, your father and I are very sorry.” Snow started. “We should have not pushed you about Neal. We did not know the entire history, otherwise we wouldn’t even think of…” Snow trailed off, trying to find the words. “We just thought that the circumstances in which you parted the first time were different.”

Emma looked at her mother desperately trying to reach out to her and Killian’s words came to her mind. 

_You’re just afraid to show it, afraid they won’t like it, afraid they won’t want you, afraid they’ll leave you. But you are enough. You are more than enough_

“It’s OK.” She said reassuringly, her hand covering Snow’s and smiling to her mother. “You didn’t know. I should have told you sooner, but it’s not something I like to remember. I was young and naïve, and scared to go through that alone. I was ashamed…” She finally confessed, tears coming to her eyes.

“Oh Emma!” Snow reached to her daughter and hugged her, “There is nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you thought was right at the time.”

Emma looked at her mother, “I loved Neal, very much. And a part of me will always love him. But I cannot go there, there is too much pain. I can’t get over what happened and I’m not sure I want to. I want to have a good relationship with Neal because we have Henry, but I don’t want to be involved with him. I know he’s having a hard time after losing his father and everything, but I don’t want to get back together with him.”

“And you don’t have to.” Snow said reassuringly. “Emma, we don’t want you to feel pressured towards anything. Your father and I just want you to be happy.”

“I know,” Emma confessed. “It’s just that all this, is a little overwhelming. I don’t know how to be a princess, how to do things here. It’s taking me time to adjust.”

“And we understand. It was not easy for me either and I was born into it.” Snow smiled. “You’ll find your way, we’ll think of something, _together_.”

Emma sighed, “There was no need to go after Hook,” She said. “He did nothing wrong.”

“Your father is a little overprotective. He’ll get over it.” Snow hesitated. “And Emma, you should be careful with Hook.”

“You can’t keep thinking like that!” Emma spat, “I know he has done bad things in his life, but Killian will never hurt me, he-”

Snow interrupted her, “Emma! That is not what I meant. I – we _know_ that he’d never harm you. I was saying that _you_ need to be careful with _his feelings._ ”

Emma looked at her confused and Snow smiled, “I’m not saying you have to figure it out now, Emma. But you will have to face this eventually. Hook is not someone who loves lightly or fleetingly, considering the lengths he went to avenge his lost love.”

“I- Hook and I, we are just – I” Emma stammered to find the words.

“He cares about you, Emma. Very much. Anyone can see that and I’d hate for you to lead him on inadvertently. Especially if you don’t feel the same way he does about you.”

Emma sighed, the events of the past night coming to her mind and remembering his words this morning. Snow smiled at her. “Don’t overthink about it either, darling. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”


	7. The Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes... I found my muse back! Updates will not be very often, but there will be :)

 “A _ball_?” Emma asked surprised.

David raised his eyebrows and chuckled, almost amused that Emma shared the same reaction to the ball that Hook had.

“Yes, a ball. We want to celebrate that we have our kingdom back, and that our family is reunited. It’s as good an occasion as any to celebrate that we are all together here.” He smiled at Emma.

“Ok…” Emma said hesitantly. “Do you really think this is a good idea? I have no clue how to handle these things.”

“You’ll be fine, Emma.” Snow replied beaming at her. “We will have a great time.”

“So… who’s invited?” Emma asked innocently.

“We’ve invited a lot of people from different kingdoms and places.” Snow said but David knew exactly what his daughter wanted to know.

“I gave him an invitation before he set sail yesterday, Emma.” David said. “He said he did not know if he’d be back by that time.”

“Oh.” Emma sounded disappointed and David felt bad for her.

“He also said that you’d let him know if you wanted him to come…” David said sheepishly and Emma looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry, Emma.”

“It’s ok,” Emma said. “He probably won’t be back by that time. And I’m sure a _ball_ is definitely not his thing.”

But she _wanted_ him there. Gods, she _needed_ him there. There was no way she was going to survive a ball without his remarks and she knew it. Once she was in her room, she quickly scribbled a message on a parchment and called for a messenger. _God, she missed texting._

 

Killian stood on deck, his hand on the helm, breathing in the salty air. The wind was in his hair and he felt that calm that always came to him when he was sailing, when he and the Jolly were one with the sea, working in silent unison. They were heading back to port, after a successful trip that had gone a lot better than he expected and the crew was happily conducting their assigned tasks. They were hesitant at the beginning at his proposal, but as they’d done for centuries; they stood by him. And he was thankful for that. Their share has been more than rewarding, and he knew most of them were looking forward to making port and heading to the tavern, spending their money on drinks and some female companionship. Him?  He smirked to himself. He’d go with them for one drink, but he had a princess he needed to catch up on.

The port was filled with life and hectic movement, the screams and bustle of activities filling him with a sense of accomplishment he had not felt in a long time. He entered the tavern with his crew, he could feel the eyes of the people on him. He smirked and headed to an empty table with Smee and a couple of others.

“Well, look who made port… the princess’ toy.” He heard someone behind him and he turned around, hand on the hilt of his sword, to face Blackbeard. He was holding a tankard, a sardonic smirk on his face. “Tell me, Hook, what exactly did you do to the princess to get her to give you your ship back?” He drank a sip from his tankard. “It must have been some interesting _special_ service.”

Hook approached Blackbeard, rage pouring from his body, “Careful, Blackbeard. That is the princess of this kingdom you are referring to.” He spat, his mouth a tight line, his eyebrow raised.

“Now you show respect to the royals?” Blackbeard scoffed… “You know, she paid very good gold for that ship. More than it was actually worth.” Killian’s fist tightened on his sword. Blackbeard looked at him amused… “Honestly,” He continued. “If I knew that she was interested in a romp with a pirate, I would have given her that for free, she sure looks like her body is tight in all the right spots…”

Hook’s fist connected with Blackbeard’s jaw immediately, the force of his punch sending the other pirate to the floor. He did not stop there, as he bent down to put his hook to Blackbeard’s’ throat.  

“I would suggest you never refer to Her Highness again in such terms, _mate_. It’s _bad form_.” He spat ruthlessly before kicking him and heading out of the tavern.

“Are you really going after her, Hook?” Blackbeard yelled at him from the floor. “Do you really think they would ever let you _be with her_? She’s _royalty_ , you are _pirate scum_. Sure, you’ll do their dirty work for them, but they will cast you aside the moment they don’t need you anymore. And _her_ ,” Blackbeard got off the floor and looked at Hook’s jaw clenching at his words. “Doesn’t she have a son with the Dark One’s son, Baelfire? Didn’t you take his mother centuries ago? Are you now going to steal his woman too? And you tell me about _bad form_? Take a look at yourself, Hook. You are nothing but a _pirate_. You are beneath her.” Blackbeard spat saliva and blood to the floor. “And you know it, _mate_.”

Hook turned around and left the tavern, Smee quick behind him. Blackbeard’s words had struck deep in him, and even though he tried to toss them away, they kept lurking back on him. He was beneath her. He was just a pirate, he was beneath her. He should get to the Jolly, set sail and never go back. Let her have the princess life she was meant to have, with a worthy prince by her side. He should do that.

As he arrived back to the Jolly, one member of his crew approached him.

“Message for you, Captain. From the castle.” He said as he handed him a small parchment.

He tore the seal open, only to find one sentence written in it.

_Please come to the ball._

He smiled. “Smee!” He yelled. “Go fetch me the best tailor and bring him to my ship immediately. I required his services in urgency.”

“What’s the rush, Captain?” Smee asked.

“I’m going to a ball” He smirked.


	8. The Ball

 

_The curves of your lips rewrite history.  
_ Oscar Wilde, **The Picture of Dorian Gray**

_“I’m going to a ball” He smirked._

He looked at his reflection in one of the many mirrors down the hall that led to the ballroom. The tailor had done an exquisite job and he admired the plain black breeches, the black shirt, a finer rendition of his embroidered red vest and a knee length embroidered, black suit jacket. He looked like a finer clothed version of the pirate he was. _Dashing_.

He entered the ballroom as if he owned it, a cocky stare and a smug smile on his face. His eyes scanned the room, looking for Emma but without finding her.

“Well, Captain, it seems you’ve made it.” He heard the sneering tone and turned around to find Regina smirking at him. She was wearing a tight sparkly blue gown and she was accompanied by a man that Hook recognized from when David had come to meet him on the road after he had dispatched the attackers many weeks ago.

“Majesty.” He bowed at her. “I believe my gratitude is in order…” He said, a sincere smile on his face.

“Really?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, a smug smile on her face. “And why would that be?”

“It came to my knowledge that your majesty had very kind words towards this humble pirate, milady.” He raised an eyebrow at her. She laughed lightly and waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, that was nothing, Hook. It was just the truth… and it was quite enjoyable to say it.” She smiled as she leaned into Robin. “This is Robin…” She introduced them and Robin gave him a slightly nod before shaking Hook’s hand.

“We’ve crossed paths on the road when Emma and Henry first came along.” Robin said. “Good to see you again.”

“You too, mate.” Hook said pleasantly, but his eyes were once again lingering on the room.

“I believe Miss Swan left the ballroom towards the gallery in that direction,” Regina pointed, her face never breaking her smug smile.

“Thank you, Majesty. Now if you’d excuse me…” He bowed before taking his leave.

 

He found her outside the ballroom, in the gallery, a breathtaking view in her red gown, her hair up, a lovely tiara on her head. He could tell immediately that she felt bored and out of place, being talked to by one of the suitors that had come to the ball in the hopes of securing her heart or hand, but mostly a powerful position within the kingdom. From where he was standing, it became clear that the suitor was bothering her – that was his story and he will stick to it if needed.

He approached her slowly and cleared his throat nonchalantly. She turned around and he could have sworn her eyes lit up when she saw him.

“Hook!” She exclaimed.

“Isn’t that a little bit informal for the heiress to the throne, princess?” He smirked at her and nodded his head in salutation.

She rolled her eyes at him, slightly entertained and a little embarrassed by her behavior.

He bowed and took her hand in his, taking it slowly to his face and brushing his lips on it. He lingered in there a little longer than what could be considered proper, but he really didn’t care. “Your Highness,” He said.

She smiled in return and took a small curtsey, “Captain Jones.” She greeted.

“Now, that’s much better, Swan.” He whispered.

“You came,” She said almost nervously.

“Well, I couldn’t refuse a handwritten invitation from Your Highness.” He smirked at her, arching his eyebrows and she welcomed all his little quirks that usually exasperated her, but that tonight had a familiar sense of home.

He still hadn’t let go of her hand which he now linked under his arm as he escorted her away from the speechless suitor.

“Now, would you mind…” Hook addressed the suitor, “Giving me a moment alone with the princess?”

He didn’t wait for a reply, as he turned her around and walked her back to the ballroom.

“You can say thank you anytime…” He said.

“What for?” She looked at him intrigued.

“For saving you from what could only be a terribly boring suitor and could only have ended in the most pathetic marriage proposal this kingdom has seen.” He smiled smugly at her, “Don’t these people know you are the Savior?”

“Apparently they did not get the memo, Hook.” She stopped in her tracks for a second, “Wait, do I have to call you Captain Jones every time?” She teased him.

“Killian will do…” He smiled at her “You look stunning, Swan.”

“So do you, Killian.” She smiled back flirtatiously at him, “It is a nice wardrobe change…”

“I’m pleased that the princess likes it. I could not come in my pirate leather outfit. It would have scared half of the fair maidens in here…” He replied as they continued their way to the ballroom.

“It probably would have attracted the other half.” She retorted.

“Really? You think so?” He arched his eyebrows at her.

“I don’t know, Killian.” She sighed, “I don’t know any of these things or any royal ball etiquette… What I am supposed to do?”

“Blend in.” He replied as he directed her to the dancing floor.

“Wait…” She said confused. “Are you saying you know how to do whatever this is?”

He carefully put her left hand on his shoulder, “It’s called a waltz.” He said as he placed her right hand over the fake one that had replaced his hook for the night. His hand went to her waist, “There is only one rule,” He pulled her to him, looked directly into her green eyes and smiled, “Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing…” He finished smiling as he started to dance.

He was a magnificent dancer, she could tell by the way he was leading her and twirling her, making her feel safe in his arms.  She felt happy. For once, she let him take the lead and just enjoyed the music, the dancing, and the company.

Killian could feel how she relaxed in his arms and it filled his heart with joy. Of all the men in there, of all the suitors she could have, he was the one dancing with her. He could sense the rumors aorund the room, he was certain of Bae’s presence as well, staring at them, but at this moment, he did not care. He would dance with her until she’d told him to stop… But he also could not resist teasing her.

“We are causing quite a spectacle, princess,” He said.

“Really, why?” She looked at him almost mischievously, as she knew exactly what he was talking about. “The long lost heiress of the throne, the Savior, is dancing at her first royal ball with the fearsome pirate Captain Hook?”

“You forgot devilishly handsome…” He smirked, “And it’s the breathtaking heiress to the throne, Swan. I’m the envy of every man in this room because you’re dancing in my arms…”

“None of them asked me to dance…” She said.

“Neither did I…” He whispered in her ear and his jaw caressed her cheek as he pulled away and looked into her eyes.  She could sense the air changing around them and how close he was, how very close he was, his face inches from hers, his intense blue eyes looking at her. Her eyes darted to his lips and she could sense how he was pulling her to him, closing the space between them…

Someone cleared their throat behind them and he pulled away, the moment gone. She noticed David and Snow dancing next to them.

“Your Majesties.” Killian greeted the king and queen shortly.

“Hook.” David said as he danced with Snow, “I thought you had declined our invitation.”

“Indeed I had.” He said. “But the princess took the time to send a note requesting my presence and it would not have been proper for me to decline such personal request. A gentleman should never let down a lady.” He looked at her smiling.

“Hard to think of a pirate being a gentleman.” Snow said curtly.

Emma felt Killian freezing in his track for a second, his jaw clenching at the not so subtle insult. It was only a brief moment, and then the dashing, cocky pirate mask was up again and he smiled at her mother.

“Very true, Your Majesty.” He said shortly. “But alas, _Emma_ requested me, she gets to have me for as long as she’d like.” He defiantly pronounced her name.

Emma saw her mother ready to reply and decided to intervene.

“Indeed I did and now I’m in desperate need for refreshment. I never though these dances could make you so thirsty.  Killian, would you be so kind to escort me?” She asked smiling at him.

“With pleasure, Swan. Your Majesties.” He nodded to her parents as he took her hand on his and escorted her out of the dance floor.

He started to walk them towards the table but she tucked his arm into the opposite direction.

“I thought you wanted refreshment, Swan?” He asked confused.

“No, what I want is to get out of here…” She whispered at him, her feet carefully moving towards the nearest exit. “This place is suffocating me.” She admitted. “Let’s go tour the castle or something.”

“As the princess commands, it shall be done.” He said before he escorted her out of the room and into the dark corridors.

As they were getting farther away from the ballroom, his thought invaded him, Blackbeard’s words coming back to haunt him. He was nothing but a pirate, ready to take what he coveted, regardless the outcome. And he coveted her. More than anything else, he coveted her. And it made it very hard to stay on the path he had vowed to rekindle. The man of honor he was trying to become once again. 

He stopped in the corridor, his hand running through his hair. Emma turned around to look at him confused.

 “What is it?” She asked.

“I have to leave, princess.” He sighed.  

“Why? We haven’t even seen the castle.”

“Emma, I can’t.” He sighed and took a deep breath. “I’m trying very hard to do the honorable thing, Swan. To be a gentleman, to be the man my brother always thought of me. But I _am_ a pirate and if I stay here a moment longer, I’ll be tempted to just give into my nature and _take_ what I covet, to _steal_ what I desperately want, what I don’t deserve.” He looked at her, despair in his eyes. She knew something had happened; something or someone had reached him, shaking him to the very core. And there he was, broken in front of her, a plea in his eyes.

She slowly reached to him, her hand going to his chest as her eyes looked for his, “It’s not stealing if it’s freely given to you, Killian.” She whispered as her lips captured his in a slow, tender kiss. As she felt him respond to her lips, she tilted her head and deepened the kiss, her hands grabbing the lapels of his jacket as she pushed him to her and motioned them to the wall, entrapping herself between the wall and him. He pressed his body into hers, his lips never leaving hers.

“Emma…” he whispered fervently between kisses.

 

He left the castle later that night, a smile on his face and his hair slightly disheveled, the taste of her lips still lingering on his. He was lost in his thoughts until a voice pulled him out of his daze.

“I thought you were going to back off, _mate_.” Hook turned around to find Neal looking angrily at him. He was clearly drunk.

“Walk away, Bae.” He said before turning around and continuing his walk.

“I’m talking to you, _Hook_.” Neal grabbed Hook’s shoulder forcefully and turned him around. “Do you think you are good enough for her? After everything you’ve done… You are _villain_ , Hook. She’s royalty. You are nothing but a _pirate_.” The contempt in his tone made Killian’s blood boil.

“I’m the pirate that got to kiss her this evening, _mate_.” He said smugly to him.

He stopped Neal’s punch easily, before shoving him away from his body with a force that sent Neal to the floor. He noticed the guards leaving their post at the door to come their way.

“I’d suggest you sleep it off, Bae.” He said before turning around and leaving in search of his horse.

 

 


	9. The Position

“Permission to come aboard, Captain.”

Hook wasn’t surprised to hear that voice early the next morning. He slowly turned around to smile at David standing by the dock.

“Permission granted, Majesty.” He bowed before tilting his head and speaking in a commanding voice. “Mr. Smee! Clear the crew from the deck. His Majesty wants a private word.”

David smiled ironically at Killian as he watched Hook’s men retreat to the crew’s quarters. And then his eyes went to Hook, who was leaning against the mast, looking defiantly at him.

“Yes, Majesty?” He said in a teasing tone.

David raised his hands in a peaceful sign, “I’ve come to make you an offer, Hook.”

Killian raised his eyebrow in suspicion, “An offer?”

David cleared his throat, “I’d like to offer a position in our Royal Navy.”

“A position in the Navy?” Killian asked, his voice between surprise and amusement. “You want me to be a Captain in your Navy, mate?”

“I was thinking more on the lines of Fleet Admiral, Hook.” David replied honestly, holding Killian’s gaze. 

Killian’s eyes widened in shock at David’s words, before clearing his throat.

“What you are saying is that you want a _pirate_ to be in charge of your entire fleet?” He asked smugly.

“I need someone I can trust, Killian. Regina wasn’t the only threat we had to our kingdom.” David replied in a dreary tone.

Killian sighed, running a hand through his hair. “And you trust me now, David?”

David took a deep breath before walking a few steps towards Killian and facing him. “I trust that when it comes to certain members of my family, you’d do anything to protect them.”

Killian swallowed, his eyes leaving David to search the horizon. He pondered David’s word, his mind quickly going back and forth on the different scenarios this would pose. And the possibilities it entailed. He smiled softly as he tried to picture himself again in a uniform. And then his memory drifted to _him_. And he knew his answer.

He sighed as he spoke, his eyes never leaving the sea. “I mentioned my brother Liam to you when we were in Neverland. You know he was killed by dreamshade.”

“Yes, I remember.” David said.

“What I hadn’t shared with you back then, is that it wasn’t an accident. We were there on a mission for our King.  He told Liam the plant was medicinal.” Killian stopped, the memories coming back to him, filling his eyes with tears. “Liam wouldn’t believe when I spoke of my hesitations. He refused to believe our _King_ would behave with such dishonor.” He took a deep breath, and he finally turned his head, facing David. “After that, I promised to myself that I'd never take orders from another man. No matter how honorable or heroic they might seem. I hope you understand why I have to refuse your generous offer.”

David nodded his head. “I understand. And I am sorry for what happened to your brother, Hook. He should have never died like that.”

“Aye.” Killian admitted before his eyes found David’s again, a strong resolution in his face. “Despite my refusal, if the occasion rises that your kingdom, or your family, is in danger; make no mistake, I will fight next to you to protect them. It will be my honor.” He vowed.

“It will be mine, Captain.” David replied.

They stood there in silence for a moment, as Killian pondered the reasoning behind David’s visit. He looked again at the horizon, his hand running through his hair, before he started fidgeting with his hook.

“Since I’ve been honest with you, I’ll ask your majesty for the same in return…” Killian started, his eyes never leaving the ocean. “Was that the only reason for your offer?”

“I can’t have you pirating the waters of my kingdom, Hook.” David replied, his eyes on the sea as well.

“I promise you, your kingdom waters are safe with me, Majesty.” Killian replied, before a thought crossed his head and he smirked, tilting his head. “Although… I might be tempted to change my mind depending on who you send to chase me.”

David laughed lightly before speaking again. “I heard about you and Blackbeard at the tavern. Hook, you can’t…” He started but Killian cut him off.

“He insulted Emma. Was I supposed to let him speak ill of her?”

“You beating Blackbeard doesn’t help her either,” David said, his arms crossing on his chest. “People will only talk more…”

Killian smiled sadly, his eyes venturing to look at David. “I take it wouldn’t be good for the princess to be associated with a pirate like meself, right?” He ran his hand through his head again, “ I know that, mate, you don’t need to remind me of our status differences…”

“That is not what I said, Hook.” David defended himself, sighing. “I have thought about this and to be honest. Emma will make her choices, either in this realm or any other. And there is nothing me or her mother should do to prevent it.” He finished, a solemn tone in his voice.

Killian lifted his eyes to David, trying to make sense of the words. “So what you are trying to say is that if she chooses me, you’ll accept it?” He asked, his voice shaking slightly.

David met his eyes firmly. “What I’m saying, Killian, is that _when_ she chooses you, I won’t object.”

Killian and David stood for a moment, holding each other’s stare, a silent understanding passing between them. After a few minutes, David broke it, as he nodded his head and said his goodbye, leaving Killian alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't abandoned this story. I have all intentions of finishing it, but updated will not be very frequent.


	10. The Capture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know.. it's been an eternity, and this is short. But I am trying. Bare with me.

Killian hadn’t expected to set sail again in the near future. But when the letter had come, he knew he couldn’t ignore this call. The timing might not be the most fortunate and he didn’t want to leave port at the moment; nevertheless, he instructed Smee to make the preparations before he headed into town to finalize a few things on his own.

He considered whether a trip to the castle was proper. Bloody Hell, he knew it probably wasn’t and that it would only fuel the rumors that kept spreading around the kingdom. But the sole idea of leaving without stealing one more kiss from Emma’s lips and perhaps a promise for a quiet moment in which they could perhaps discuss their dalliances was something he just couldn’t endure. He quickly mounted his horse and headed towards the castle. When he arrived, he was greeted with the news that the royal couple had left in a diplomatic visit to one of the villages nearby and they were not expected to come back for a few days. The princess had also left in a diplomatic mission. He’d smiled sadly and decided he’d leave a short letter for Emma explaining about the impromptu trip he needed to make.

A few days went by, the winds favoring him and his Jolly pushing to the extreme, the fastest ship in all realms living up to his fame. Killian was eager to come back, for the first time in centuries he was expectantly waiting to make port. Anchor his ship, disembark, he knew the logistics by heart, he’d done them a million times. But this time, instead of going to the tavern and drowning his pain and sorrows in rum like he’d done for centuries, he was eager to get on his horse and head to see Emma. He supposed this was how the sailors he used to navigate with felt when they were about reach port, knowing their loved ones waited impatiently for them. 

He couldn’t help but let himself hope that perhaps Emma was also eagerly waiting for his return. He knew he had no claim on her, he knew they’d only shared a few heated kisses, but he still hoped, for the first time in centuries, that fate would smile at him.

Killian should have known that destiny was a treacherous mistress. The guards were the first sign that something wasn’t right. The fact that they all but jumped to the ship the moment they docked was the second one.

“What the bloody hell is this?” Killian asked, a familiar fear at the pit of his stomach.

“We have orders to bring you back to the castle as soon as you made port, Captain.”

“Why?”

“Her Royal Highness is missing.”


	11. The Plan

Killian stormed into the castle, his long strides taking him hastily into the library. He didn’t bother with knocking and simply burst into the room. A few heads turned around at the sound: Charming and Regina were pacing in the room, Snow was sitting by the fireplace and Robin by the window, was looking outside.

“What the bloody hell happened?” Killian asked forcefully, not being able to keep the fear away from his voice.

“Emma…” Charming started, “she’s not with you?”

Killian shook his head and Charming’s hopeful look faltered. “She should have come back from her trip earlier than we did, but when we got here, she wasn’t. No one had heard anything.” He cleared his throat. “We thought that – perhaps…” David trailed off, a soft tint of embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

“Perhaps what? That I would take the princess away and deep into the sea for a _dalliance_? That I would just be so inconsiderate to her family?” Killian wasn’t able to control the rage in his voice. There was a dreading feeling at the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t just shake and hard as he tried, he couldn’t stop pouring all his emotions into his words. “Why would I have bring her with me without word when I’d have been able to take what she was very willingly offering before and I’ve refused?”

The sounds of glass shattering brought him back to his senses and he turned to see Snow’s hands shaking, glass shreds at her feet. Killian’s heart sank in his chest and quickly he’d closed the distance, kneeling in front of her.

“I’m sorry, Milady. I’m so sorry. I guess you were right; pirates are no gentlemen after all,” he said, his eyes locking with hers and reading the fear behind them. He took her hand in his, and spoke with determination. “I know I’m no gentleman, Your Majesty, but I’m a man of my word and I promise you this: _I will find her_ , Milady. I will find Emma and get her back to you. I vow my life to this task,” he finished vehemently.

Snow nodded, her hand squeezing his in the heartfelt plea of a mother that had already lost her daughter once and didn’t want to go through the same again. Killian gave her a reassuring smile before he stood up again, taking a deep breath to regain his cold, calculating mind. He needed it at the moment.

“How long has she been missing?”

“It’s hard to say, but at least a week,” David said, running a hand through his hair and sighing deeply. “We’ve been scouting the villages, trying to find out if there’s any gossip or any rumors of possible enemies to the kingdom, or _anything_ that might seem out of place…”

Killian’s heart stopped for a brief second, his eyes widening. David and Regina seemed to catch up on this, because they quickly approached him.

“I- I might have heard some things on my trip,” Killian explained. He hadn’t been actively seeking, not anymore. The Crocodile was gone and even if it weren’t, Killian had moved onto seeking something different in his life. But old habits die hard, and old reputations even harder. Everyone knew and remembered how Captain Hook was always keen on having information on anything related to the Dark One.

“There’s been rumors,” Killian started, “about dark magic activity, some say that it’s even happening closer to the Dark One’s castle. I – I didn’t pay much attention to it, knowing that Rumplestiltskin had died, I presumed someone might be trying to take advantage of my previous interests to deceive me out of a few gold coins.” He made a tsk sound with his tongue against his cheek, his words trailing in the air.  

“But if Emma is missing and the rumors are actually true…” Regina started, only to stop herself, her eyes widening in surprise.

Hook swallowed, his jaw clenching in tension. “Then Baelfire is doing dark magic.”

“But why would he do that?” Snow asked.

“He misses his father. After everything they went through, they were starting to mend their relationship. Perhaps he’s looking for options to bring him back.” David pointed out.

“You can’t bring someone back from the dead, can you?” Robin asked.

“No,” Regina said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “Not that we know of. But I’m not sure the extent of magical artifacts that Gold might have collected for centuries. Who knows what he had in his vault.” She paced back and forth, her forehead frowned in deep concentration. “But if you _could_ bring the dark one back… then it would require a major magic offer to counterbalance. All magic comes with a price,” she pointed out and she gaped in realization. “It would require _light_ magic. The purest form of magic that exists.”

“Emma… she’s the product of true love.” Snow choked on the words and David was by her side, holding her hand reassuringly.

“Swan…” Killian said, despair etched in his voice. “He’s going to do something to her magic to try and bring his father back.”

“We have to stop him,” David said. “We need to put together a search party and go to the castle.”

“You can’t go, mate,” Killian said sadly. “You’re the ruler of the kingdom, you can’t put yourself at risk.”

“She’s my daughter, Hook!” David had crossed the room as was now facing Killian with an angered face.

“And you have a wife and another one on the way that need you,” Hook said calmly. “Emma would never want you to put your life in danger.”

“The pirate is right,” Regina said. “You need to stay here with Snow, we’ll rescue Emma.”

“You should stay behind too, Majesty,” Killian retorted. Regina’s ruthless stare fail upon him, but he didn’t falter. “ _Henry_ ,” Hook whispered, “he already has one mother at risk. Do you think is wise for you to put yourself in harm’s way?”

“I’m going with you.” Regina protested. “There’s magic involved… you _need_ magic!”

“And you need to stay with her son!” Hook said with controlled rage in his voice. “ _Your_ son. This is his father and his mother that are involved. If something happened, Emma wouldn’t want Henry to lose all his family. You _know_ this, Regina.”

It took Regina a few moments to ponder Killian’s words before she nodded. “You can’t go alone, Hook,” she said, “it’s took risky.”

“Too many people can draw attention too, we have to do this quietly. We don’t know how volatile the situation can be.”

“Take my men, at least one of them,” Robin offered. “Will Scarlet. He – he might have some skill sets that you’ll find helpful when trying to sneak into places.”

Hook smirked. “That would do.”

“Hook,” Snow said and Killian focused his attention on her. “You have no magic, this can be dangerous.”

“I know,” he whispered and he turned to Regina. “Can you give me something that might be useful? I’ll figure it out the rest on my own.”

“I can think of a few things that might help. Give me a few moments to prepare them.” Regina said as she left for her chambers.

“I’ll gather Will and get the horses ready for the trip,” Robin added with a soft nod of his head.

Less than two hours later, Hook mounted his horse, a few trinkets hidden on his saddlebags – a couple of vials with potions, a healthy supply of squid ink – and a blood enchantment on his hook that hopefully will make it easier to sneak into the dark one’s castle. Will mounted the horse next to his, both men exchanging a few words earlier about the upcoming mission.

Killian had a determined look on his face. He’d already lost one woman he loved to the dark one. He wasn’t going to lose another. His eyes drifted to Snow walking hesitantly to him. She grabbed his hand. “Bring her home, Hook. And take care of yourself.”

“Aye, you have my word, majesty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to say I'm sorry it took me so long. Please know I'm trying to finish this story even if it's costing me months to produce each chapter


	12. The Confrontation

_"Doubt thou the stars are fire;_   
_Doubt that the sun doth move;_   
_Doubt truth to be a liar;_   
_But never doubt I love."  
**Hamlet, Shakespeare**_

It was a silent journey towards the dark one’s castle. The rhythmic sound of the horses galloping kept Killian from losing his mind completely as he went over the possible scenarios in his head, trying to get ahead of the situation.

After a few hours, they slowed their gallop into a stealthy trotting as they entered the castle’s perimeter. Even with a few disguising spells provided by Regina and with the dark one theoretically _still_ dead, Killian didn’t want to risk it. They dismounted and continued on foot until they were only a few steps away from the entrance.

Before they were able to go any further, Will stopped Killian. “You’re not just planning to barge in there with your sword up and nothing more as a way of a plan, aye?”

Killian tilted his head to the side, his jaw clenching in tension. “Well, the thought crossed my head, but I gather it wouldn’t be a good plan,” he admitted.

Will seemed to ponder the situation for a moment “Are you familiar with the castle?”

“Not much,” Killian shrugged. “I tried to stay away from this place as much as possible until I could find a way to kill the bloody demon.”

“Well, lucky for you, mate, I’m here.” Will smirked as he pulled folded piece of paper from his satchel. “This is a map of the castle,” he unfolded the parchment and showed it to Killian, a smug smile gracing his features.

“How did you get this?”

“People talk, people carry information, trinkets. You just have to know where to look.” Will cocked an eyebrow at him and Killian felt the smile lifting the corners of his mouth. He was starting to see what the skillset Robin was referring to was. They both studied the floor plans for a few minutes, tracing alternative ways to reach the library and adjacent conjure rooms and plotting possible escape routes. Once they had memorized their plan, they both pulled out their swords and headed for the entrance. Hook took a deep breath and traced the entrance with his hook, hoping that the enchantment would let them in. Sure enough, it was only a brief minute until the door creaked open and both men sneaked into the castle.

The corridors were dark, cold and gloomy, sending shivers down to Hook’s spine but he pushed his fears to the deepest nook of his mind as he and Will searched the different rooms in the palace.

As they approached the library, Will whispered behind Killian. “Now, we know this bloke might have the princess in here… but someone else that might be captive? Or that we could ran into?”

“The Dark One didn’t have any servants, not ever since…” Hook trailed off, his eyes widening. “Belle might be here!” He exclaimed in a low voice, his eyes widening at the realization.

“Who’s Belle?” Will asked confused.

“She is - was - the dark one’s love. She and Baelfire were traveling together when we returned from Storybrooke...”

“Do you think she might be helping him?” Will was assessing the situation with a cold impartiality that Killian couldn’t find in himself. He didn't want to believe that Belle…

“She might have at the beginning, but I don't think - dark magic is not her thing” Killian cleared his throat.

“I thought you said she was in love with the dark one?!?”

“She believed there was good in him.” Killian saw Will’s dumbfounded stare. “Aye, I know,” he sighed.

“Alright, I'll keep my eyes open just in case.” Will took a deep breath. “Let’s keep going, we don’t know how much time we have.”

Killian felt as if someone was squeezing his heart at the thought of being too late to save Emma. But he had to hope that he’ll reach her in time. Killian and Will moved slowly towards the library, trying to keep their steps silent in the still mansion. The door was slightly ajar and Killian kept the creaking sound to a minimum as he opened the door and stepped into the room carefully.

The sight in front of him made his jaw drop and his heart ache, tears threatening to come to his eyes.

A sort of cage had been fashioned in the middle of the room, and within laid Emma. She was halfway propped in a bench, as if she didn’t have enough strength to lay in it. Her blonde hair had lost its usual shine and was obstructing the view of her face. Killian lost all common sense as he threw himself towards the cage.

“Swan!” he called for her desperately, his voice breaking at the thought of being too late.

She lifted her head slowly, as if that was too much of an effort endeavor in the moment, her unfocused green eyes trying to locate the source of the sound. “Killian?” she asked in a thin voice, as if the words were painful to pronounce.

Killian was reaching for the cage, ready to answer, when another voice rang from behind him.

“Step away Hook!” Killian turned around to find Neal looking at him bewildered. A quick glance around had him spotting a frightened Belle nearby, her eyes darting from the two of them. Hook focused on the man standing in front of him again, from the wild eyes to the shaking of the hand that was holding some sort of magic artifact. Something didn’t seem right with him, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care over it.

“Bae, what in the bloody hell are you doing?” he spat, letting the anger take him completely as he took one step towards Neal before he noticed Belle shaking his head at him. “Belle, are you ok?” he asked concerned. “What is happening in here? Tell me, lass,” he pleaded, trying to make sense of this entire situation. He couldn’t fathom the idea that Bae would put Emma in danger like this.

Belle took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts. “We were - we were trying to find a spell to bring Rumple back. I - I think something took possession of Baelfire. He doesn’t seem to listen to reason, I’ve tried to stop him, but he-” she sounded both apologetic and desperate and Killian felt terrible at the idea of what she’d gone through in the last few days.

“It’s alright, lass,” he said reassuringly, his eyes darting to Will’s and silently communicating with him. It seemed the other man understood him, because he stealthily moved towards where Belle was, adopting a protective stance. Once Killian was sure Will was in position, his eyes went back to the man in front of him.

“Neal, look at me. She’s the mother of your child!  How could you?” he tried to reason with him, tried to avoid the ugly confrontation he was sure would follow up if he couldn’t reach to him.

Neal’s eyes darted from him to the cage where Emma was trapped. “She’ll be fine. I just need her magic, to channel it into the spell and bring my father back, that is all. It won’t harm her.” The words sounded empty, as if it he were just a vessel repeating them, the sounds resonating empty in him.

“Bae, this is going to _kill her_!” he pointed to Emma’s limping form, the words desperately trying to reach the man in front of him.

“It won’t. It’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Neal said dismissively but when Killian didn’t bulge, his features quickly morphed into something more sinister. “What do you know about this, _pirate_?” he said spitefully.

“Look at her!” Hook exclaimed, desperation lacing his voice. “This thing is not just draining her magic, it’s draining her life!”

But he was only met with indifference from Neal, his shoulders shrugging as he held the artifact in his hand tighter. Killian sighed sadly, his hand now on the pommel of his sword. “Bae, I loved your mother very much,” his voice broke for a moment, emotion making him tremble. “Out of respect for her memory, I’ve tried not to hurt you. But I swear, if you don’t stop this now, I will run my sword through you,” he finished vehemently.

Neal’s eyes lit with fury, something dangerous and evil lurking in them.  “You won’t interfere with my family anymore!”

The moment Neal lunged for him, Killian saw the opportunity he’d been waiting for. He moved to the side, avoiding Neal’s body while his voice tore through the room, “Scarlet, NOW!” From the corner of his eye, Killian saw a quick shadow moving in their direction. Neal was suddenly frozen in mid-attack, his eyes looking savagely at them while he tried to get free of the imprisonment. Killian took a step back and tried to assess the situation before he looked at Will.

“Will, get Belle out of here now! We’re not sure how long the squid ink will hold him. We have to move fast!”

Will nodded, his arms holding Belle and pulling her out of the castle. “Don’t take long, mate,” he said.

Killian nodded before he unsheathed his sword and made a quick way unhinging the door of Emma’s cage. He was by her side in an instant, his hand reaching for her.

“Swan... Emma… can you hear me?”

“Killian?” she asked again, as if the first time he’d addressed her hadn’t resonated with her. Her green eyes were almost vacant but she seemed to focus on him for a moment before she was lost in herself again. He pulled her into his arms, giving himself one brief moment to just hold her.

“Aye, hold on, love. I’ve got you,” he whispered.

Killian scooped her into his arms and carried her out of the castle as quickly as possible. Her head rested limply on the curve of his neck, and he could feel the exhaustion that had crept into her bones. His heart aching, he made haste in asking Will to help hold her until he mounted his horse and gathered her in his arms again, her frame held securely against his chest. Will and Belle mounted the other horse and galloped away from the castle.

Hook didn’t look behind as he heard enraged yells invading the space.

/-/

They hadn’t reached the midpoint of their journey back when Killian knew he couldn’t go on much further. Emma felt colder in his arms by the minute, her breathing becoming more labored, the hands that had grabbed the leather of his coat tighter for a minute were now slowly losing their hold. He could sense her drifting away from everything - from _him_ \- and he knew they wouldn’t make it back to the castle in time. He quickly halted his horse and turned to face Will and Belle, who’d stopped as well.

“She won’t resist the journey back to the castle,” he said in a small voice and a sob escaped Belle’s lips. Killian clenched his jaw as he pointed to their surroundings. “There’s a shed down by the road, we’ll shelter there. Will, keep going, get Regina and tell her to get here!”

Will nodded before he whistled at his horse and he and Belle took out in full speed in the direction of the castle. Hook quickly made his way towards the shelter, scooping Emma in his arms. He laid her down gently by the haystacks as he set to light the fire on the hearth. Once the flames were in full length, he reached for Emma, pulling her into his arms and sitting her into his lap. His hand moved back and forth on her back, hoping to bring some warmth in her.

“Swan, please Swan, stay with me,” he begged. A sob escaped her lips a few moments later, her body trembling and shivering. When she spoke, her voice seemed foreign, feverish.

“He never came back for me… he never cared enough to come back for me,” she sounded delirious, as if her mind were far away from the present. Killian’s heart ached to help her and his left arm pulled her closer to him, his lips murmuring on her ear.

“If I had you then,” his voice broke, but he forced himself to keep on going, “If you had been mine, there was no way I’d let anyone pull me away from you. I’d have thrown them off, cursed them into nothing, rip their throats out for even suggesting that I should leave you. Nothing would have kept me away from you, my love.”

He kissed her temple, a soft plea coming to his lips, “Don’t leave me now, Swan. I’ve lost everyone… I can’t lose you too.”

Killian couldn’t recall how long they’d been there, as he held onto Emma tightly and tried to keep the coldness away from her. He must have drifted at some point, because the next thing he knew someone was tugging on his arm firmly.

“Hook, what happened?” Regina asked alarmed, but with a hint of softness in her voice as she studied his face.

Killian moved to sit up properly, his arms pulling Emma closer to him while he spoke. “She was cold, so cold and delusional,” he sighed, exhaustion evident in his voice. “I think she’s unconscious now, but her breathing has evened out. Can you heal her? Regina, please…” his voice broke at the last sentence, tears coming into his eyes as they bored into Regina’s pleadingly.

She studied Emma carefully, her hand feeling her pulse before she spoke again. “We need to get you back to the castle so I can do this in a proper room.” She must have seen Killian’s alarmed face because she said soothingly. “She’ll be fine, Hook, I promise.”

Killian swallowed and nodded, and the next thing he knew, he was blinded by a purple smoke for a brief second before they were back at the library in the castle.

“Emma!” David yelled as he approached them.

“Robin, David, take her to her room, I’ll be right there,” Regina ordered and Killian carefully transferred Emma’s fragile frame from his arms into his father’s, Robin trailing a few steps behind.

The moment she’d left his arms, Killian’s knees gave away and he almost collapsed on the floor. Tink rushed in to support him, but he still couldn’t pull himself completely together.

“He’s exhausted. He almost seems… _drained_ ,” Tink mentioned.

“Get him in a room, put him into bed.” Regina ordered. “If this played as I think it did in that shed, he’s going to need all the rest he can get.”

He couldn’t remember how he made it into room, Tink helping him remove his coat, vest and boots before she tucked him into bed. He tried to ask for Emma, demanded to know what happened, to see her, but his eyelids felt too heavy to stay open.

“Shh… Hook, everything will be fine. She’ll be fine.” Tink said soothingly. “Just rest.”

“Emma….” he whispered softly before sleep claimed him.


	13. The Aftermath

_He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking._   
**Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina**  


Killian woke up disoriented, the light creeping into the room so soft and dim that it was impossible for him to figure out what time of the day it was. How long was he asleep? Where was he?

Suddenly, the events rushed back into his mind and he quickly sat up in the bed, the covers falling to his waist. “ _Emma_!” was all he could say before a wave of nausea came over him.

“Lie down, Hook, you’re going to get sick.” Tink’s soothing voice reached him and he lift his head, only then noticing her. She helped him lay back on the bed, arranging the pillows so he could be comfortable and handing him a glass of water.

“Emma? How is she?” he asked, his voice raw, his throat feeling like sandpaper.

“She’s fine. She’s still resting.” Tink searched his face, studying him for a moment. “How are _you_ feeling?”

“Like I’ve weathered the worst shipwreck in centuries,” Killian groaned, the muscles in his body aching from moving. “Why am I feeling like this? What happened?”

He winced as he tried to move and Tink’s hand reached for his forehead, muttering something under her breath. Some of the discomfort was quickly gone. “Let me summon Regina. She wanted to talk to you about all of this. Just… stay in bed and I’ll get her.” She cocked an eyebrow at him, her tone not leaving him a chance to protest about being confined to bed when all he desperately wanted was answers. But she seemed to take pity on his battered soul, because a soft smile came to her lips as she headed for the door. “I swear, Hook, she’s _fine_. There were no sequels to the spell.”

Physically, perhaps. But from the words he remembered Emma muttering, he wasn’t sure about her heart. He was still mulling over that when Regina entered the room. She took a moment to examine him from head to toe, her eyes so focused that it almost made him squirm. After a long minute or two, she took a few steps towards the bed. “It’s good to see you’ve been recovering properly. Can you stand up?” she asked.

“I haven’t tried.” He threw the covers and slowly moved his legs to the edge of the bed. The soft cotton pants felt foreign to him, as it did the linen shirt, the clothes clearly borrowed from someone at the castle.

“Your crew will bring you clothes and other belongings later today,” Regina said as she bent to try to help him get up, but he raised his hand in protestation.

“I can get up on my own, thank you Majesty.”

“I’m pretty sure you can, but you have sustained quite a lot in the past few days, I just want to ensure-”

But Killian couldn’t let Regina go on about his health when all he cared about was Emma. “Regina, what happened back there? How is Emma? Tell me the truth.”

Regina took a deep breath and walked towards the other side of the bed, fiddling with the candelabra on the side table. “Do you recall a little of what was going on at the Dark One’s castle? What was Neal doing exactly?”

Killian closed his eyes, trying to fight the dread the memories brought back in him. “He was draining her magic but it was... It was-” he couldn’t continue, images of Emma pale, cold and almost lifeless coming back to haunt him.

“Draining her?” Regina asked softly, a voice that she usually didn’t reserve for anyone but Henry.

“Aye.” Killian sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking out the window. It was still early in the morning, a cloudy day that was leaving a gloomy taste all around. “She was so pale, so cold, as if there was little to no life left in her. I had to stop, I didn’t think she could endure the trip back to the castle.”

“She wouldn't have.” Regina’s words made him snap his head and face her, his eyes boring into hers. “You made the right decision, she was almost too far gone. If you had gone on, she would have died.”

The words sliced through him and he had to reach for the windowsill to hold himself as his knees almost gave out. He’d almost lost her. But that didn’t explain why everyone was telling him that she was fine now. “Then how? _Why_?”

Regina raised an eyebrow at him. “ _You_. Whatever happened there, it seemed you were able to share your strength with her… to simply keep her alive. You- you saved her, Hook.”

He paced around, running his hand through his hair, the weight of her words heavy on his shoulders.

Regina looked at him inquisitively. “You know what this means, right? You’ve kept her alive. I’ve never seen magic like this before, Killian, not unless-”

“Don’t say it,” he cut her off, his voice begging her. He couldn’t hear it… not now, not when he knew Emma was probably rebuilding all her walls after what happened, closing her heart to the world again after the one person she loved in her life had once again betrayed her. He knew that wounds like that tend to linger. He also knew how much that wound had reopened by the way her voice had broken up in sobs when he held her against him in that shed.

“Not facing it won’t make it go away.” Regina’s voice was gentle, soothing almost. It was slightly odd coming from her, but it seemed genuine.

“She’s not ready, Regina.”

“She, or you?”

He chuckled. “Both, probably.” His heart had been asleep for centuries, only now slowly waking up and while he knew how he felt, he was still unsure. He still felt on uneven footing when it came to this, and he still wasn’t sure how Emma felt about him. For all of their shared kisses and quiet moments, nothing had been said. Not even a hint of them being more than just a few moments in a dalliance.

“Can I see her?” he asked feebly.  “When she wakes up?”

“Sure, but it might be another day or two.” Regina took a few steps towards him. “You need to rest too. Snow and David insist that you stay here at the castle.”

It wasn’t ideal, he much rather go back to his ship, his cabin and his barrel of rum, but the sole idea of not being near Emma right now.

“I don’t feel like seeing people at the moment,” he admitted.

“Stay… for a few days. She’s going to need you when she wakes up.”

He sighed again, looking out the window, his eyes lost in the horizon. “Aye.”

Regina made her excuses to exit the room, but she turned around when she was at the door. “You can’t run away from this, Hook.”

He shook his head. “I’m not. It’s just that now it’s not the time.”

/-/

The rest of the day went by in a blur, with Tink fussing over him until he had to beg her to leave him alone to his own thoughts and musings, which was perhaps what she tried to prevent. She told him they had gone back to the Rumple’s castle, Robin and Will took a few guards with the intention to retrieve Baelfire, but it was empty when they reach it. There were signs of struggle, shattered furniture and torn fabrics, but little to nothing else.

“I hope he’s free of whatever possessed him.” Tink said.

Killian didn’t feel as magnanimous at the moment, keeping his silence and hoping that he’d never have to face the man again. He wasn’t sure he'd been able to resist his need for revenge.

“How is Belle?” he asked.

“She’s fine physically, but still shaken over everything that she’s gone through. She’s sought refuge at the library most of the time. But Will has been coercing out for a walk or two on the grounds.” There was a twinkle in her Tink’s eyes that Killian didn't miss.

“Will?”

“Her handsome hero.”

“I don’t think Scarlet can be considered a hero, Tink.”

“Well, apparently he is to Belle.” She busied herself arranging a few flowers on a vase. “I’m calling it now and you can tell me I was right when it happens.”

He chuckled. “I will.”

“Would you join us for dinner?” She asked with a smile.

He still didn't feel like socializing and it seemed it was clear in his face because Tink shook her head at him. “I’ll have something send over for you. And Belle picked a couple of books for your entertainment. Get some rest.”

He almost collapsed into the bed after a light dinner, the simple act of moving around the room causing him enough exertion as if he’d been battling a storm at sea. He entertained himself with one of the books that Belle sent before his eyes closed down and he fell into a peaceful slumber.

/-/

Two days passed in which Killian only left the confines of his room when Tink dragged him to take a healing walk on the castle grounds. It seemed she’d appointed herself as his personal nurse and there was little he could do to persuade her to leave him alone. He’d tried, only to be met by an eyeroll and a shrug of her shoulders as she pushed him towards the gardens.

He had to admit that the fresh air did him a bit of good and the exercise helped bring strength back into his stiff muscles, but it still left his mind and heart in a turmoil. Smee had arrived not just with a few of his clothing, but there were also several messages for him. He tried to push the letters out of his mind, but within each hour he felt more and more restless at the castle. There were still no signs of Emma waking up, although both Regina and Tink have assured him that she was fine, that she was mainly going through the same process he was, but considering the depth of her draining she simply needed more time.

It was as the sun was setting on the second day that Tink came looking for him. He was reading by the window but he quickly discarded his book when he read her features.

“She’s been awake for a few hours, but first Regina wanted to ensure she was ok, and then her parents and Henry-” she trailed off and Hook quickly nodded. He knew her family had been guarding her bed for days now, it was only logical they’d be the firsts to be with her.

After all, he wasn’t really family. Or anything. He was nobody.

_Just the pirate captain that has brought her to the royal home where she belonged._

He closed the distance to the door and let Tink guide him through the castle to Emma’s room. His heart was beating frantically in his chest as he made it to the door. Tink softly knocked before she open the door slightly.  “She’s waiting for you.”

He swallowed, taking a deep breath before he entered her room. Emma was standing by the window, the last rays of sunlight casting her frame against the window glass. She turned around and the vision took his breath away. She was as beautiful as he remembered, even if she looked slightly pale and thin. She seemed so fragile standing there that he started moving towards her without realizing it, based on an instant need to protect her.

But her eyes widened with fear as she took a step back and reality came back crashing into him as he froze on the spot.

“I’m sorry, Killian. It’s this-” she tried to find the words to explain, but Killian was adamant in not causing Emma any more distress. He could see why she was so skittish.

He waved his hand dismissively, as to prevent her the embarrassment of having to explain. “I understand,” he said softly, with as much encouragement as he could muster.

Silence fell upon them for one or two heartbeats until Emma spoke again. “You saved me.”

He shook his head, taking a few hesitant steps towards her and feeling his heart fill with joy when she didn’t pull back frightened. “I just got you out of there, Swan.”

She averted her eyes for a moment. “Thank you, Killian.” Her eyes met his with a sentiment that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Regina told me about what happened. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Emma. You don’t need to worry about me.” He shrugged, not wanting to preoccupy her with his own health.

She took a step towards him, searching his features as if she needed to see for herself that he was in good shape. He let her, taking a moment to observe her as well, rejoicing in the glint of her eyes that not even tiredness had been able to fade.

“You stayed…” her voice was low as she reached for his arm timidly, almost afraid to touch him. He didn’t move, not daring to break the moment for the fear of her losing her courage.

“I just needed to know you were ok,” he whispered, closing his eyes the moment her fingertips grazed his skin, feeling the warmth run through his veins, almost intoxicated. “Emma…”

The cold soon came back crashing as she removed her hand and took a step back, her eyes filling with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, I can’t. With everything that is going on, the diplomatic missions, and the duties and then Neal.” She choked, a sob escaping her lips. “I can’t.”

It broke his heart, but it was something Killian knew was bound to happen. He’d been shooting for the stars, and he of all people should know how unreachable they were.

He pulled on the best smile he could muster - and even he knew it was a stretch - and tilted his head. “I know. You have a mission to fulfill, you are a princess. You don’t owe me any explanations.” The last part had not meant to be a reproach, but she seemed to recoil at his words. He sighed, the decision clear to him now that he was facing her. “Perhaps is best if I leave for a while.”

She took a step towards him, her eyes searching for lies, but he knew she wasn’t going to find any. He wasn’t lying. He didn’t think Emma needed him here, a constant reminder of what could have been now tangled with the stark reminder of what she’d gone through at that wretched castle. “Let me guess? Another trip on the _Jolly_? You seem to be spending a lot of time at sea lately.” There was a hint of tease in her words, a little of the old Emma coming back to him and it almost made his resolve falter, but he had to do what was best for her.

“It’s for the best, love,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair and meeting her stare. “With everything that happened and as much as I lo- you’re not ready. Perhaps you’ll never be.” He never meant to say the last words out loud, they simply escaped him treacherously as he was busy drowning in the depth of her eyes.

“Killian, I - I don’t know how to say goodbye.” There was such pain in her words that his heart ached for her. He finally reached out, enveloping her in his arms.

“Then don’t.  Just get well, _heal…_ find your place in here.” She pulled him tighter against her, burrowing her face on his chest and he gave himself one more moment of selfishness, pressing a kiss to her temple.

_I love you._

He finally pulled away, drying a lonely tear from her cheek before he let her go and headed towards the door.

“Killian?” He turned around and met her tentative smile. “Come back to me.”

“Aye.”


	14. Drinking Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if anyone is reading and this was clearly not all the story I wanted to tell when I started this fic almost 3 years ago. But I will finish it, I promise. Even if it's with plotline notes and dialogue excerpts

“Permission to come aboard, Captain?”

Killian turned around, his brow furrowing at the unexpected guest.  It had been three days since he’d left the castle and his crew were to set sail in two days’ time. He had been ensuring everything was ready for the travel, throwing himself into the known routines of getting a ship perfect for sailing as a way to avoid his feelings. But his traitorous heart and his deceiving mind gave him no quarrel, and soon he found himself sulking and commiserating. His crew had known better than to talk to him when he was in such a state, and one by one they’d found things to do ashore, taverns and wenches to visit, and left him to brood on his own at nights, with nothing but a rum barrel for company.

It hadn’t escaped Killian how much his crew seemed to be finding ties inland, either rekindling relationships long forgotten or building new ones. It wouldn’t be long until this port would become home for most of them… just when Killian was adamant to escape his heartache in the only way he knew how: sailing the seas without looking back.

However, none of that explained the man that was standing on the dock, waiting for his reply. Killian smirked and shrugged more out of habit than anything else. It was easy to play that part, after all.

“Since when do you need permission to board a ship in your port, Majesty?”

David gave him a brief smile. “This isn’t one of my ships, Hook. I think is customary to ask.” He shuffled on his feet. “I was wondering if the services of your ship as a safe harbor to drink oneself in peace were available to other members of the royal family.”

Killian tilted his head and contemplated the request. A big part of him wanted to say no and send David back to his family, urging the man to seek comfort in the wonderful woman waiting for him, or the friends willing to lay their lives for them. But a part of him knew exactly why David has sought him. When one holds a position of power, one cannot succumb to darkness. One must set an example. _Always_. That was who Liam used to be, leaving any type of moment of weakness for the solitude of his cabin, sinking himself in a place not even Killian could reach him. That was David now, desperately seeking the one place where he knew he could unleash his demons. Killian wasn’t going to deny the man the chance to do so.

He bowed his head, his hand motioning over the deck. “My rum barrels are at your service, Majesty”.

/-/

Surprisingly, Prince Charming could hold a lot more rum than Killian would have thought. But eventually, drunk stupor fell on the other man, and his frustrations slowly started to fade away.

“I should have chased him the moment you made it back with Emma. I should have gotten on my horse, found him and make him pay.”

Killian downed his rum and swallowed, letting the fire burn his throat. “Revenge may sate your being, but it's an end, not a beginning.”

David took his time with his rum, and studied Killian until the other man almost squirmed under the scrutiny. “Is that why you didn’t go after him?”

Killian pondered his answer for a moment. “My one priority was getting Emma out of there and return her safely to the castle. Everything else held little importance at that moment. You needed to stay in the castle to ensure she was safe after we made it back. That was your priority, mate.”

_And it was a good one._

But it seems that wasn’t enough for a rum fueled David who was letting his demons out. “And now? Is there a reason why I shouldn’t find him now?” He averted his eyes to the sea, his jaw clenching and his hand fisting at his side. “I want to. Every part of me is screaming for compensation, to make him atone for what he did to my daughter,” he confessed hoarsely and Killian’s heart tug at the sadness and anger in his voice. He knew that feeling so well, after all.

His hand reached to clasp on David’s shoulder, forcing the other man to look at him. “You don’t want to go down that path, mate. It won’t turn back time. It won’t stop what already had happened…” he swallowed, letting his own emotions flood him. “It won’t heal her any faster.”

“Is that why you’re leaving?” David asked.

Killian averted his eyes, feeling uncomfortable for letting his emotions get the best of him. “She needs time. Emma doesn’t need me here, like a constant reminder of one of the worst times of her life, of the pain she suffered.”

“But you saved her.”

_And she couldn’t even hold my gaze after it._

“It doesn’t matter,” Killian sighed, running his hand through his hair. “All she sees right now is darkness.” And he knew all about darkness creeping up on you. He could only hope his own absence and her family’s love would be enough to anchor her back into the light.

Silence stretched between the two men as they both stared out to the sea. “Where would you go?”

_Anywhere but here where my heart is breaking time and again._

“There’s always somewhere to sail. The sea is endless.” The sea, his first love, was waiting to embrace him again and help him heal as well.

David shook his hand. “I hope this pass… I truly do,” he said sincerely.

“Take care of your family, Majesty.”  _Take care of Emma._

“You take care of yourself, Hook.”

“Aye, will do.”


End file.
